#like okay now i realize why she was like that throughout my childhood

[gotta-winwin]

(🎄) ... mirth and good cheer - xmas special

⭐ starring: vernon

🎄preview: vernon used to fly back to new york every christmas for one reason only: his childhood best friend. christmas used to be his and y/n’s thing, until he got seemingly too busy to ever return. now, as y/n departs to korea for the first time, she can’t help but wonder if her and vernon would ever cross paths again. vernon, unbeknownst to her, has been wondering the exact same thing. as the boys set up their christmas tree in their dorm, he does his best to ignore how hints of y/n still seemed to linger throughout the holiday air. 

tw/cw: idol!vernon x nonidol!reader, childhood friends to lovers, estranged friends, slight miscommunication, fluff, slight angst, best christmas romcom vibes, features svt members, stubborn!reader, equallystubborn!vernon, use of y/n, flips between past and present day

☁️ masterlist & a/n: dropping a vernon x reader fic for our xmas special! doesn't vernon just scream childhood bestie to lover (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ merry christmas my loves!

11 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Mingyu slapped Vernon’s hand away from the tree they were decorating. “It’s supposed to be symmetrical, not whatever you’re doing.”

Vernon had to admit he wasn’t really paying attention. Their dorm auntie, the one who came around once a week to clean up the place, had baked them gingerbread men as a Christmas gift, and the smell felt like it had seeped into the walls of their dorm. It was a nostalgic smell, one that took him back to his childhood, new york and-

“Vernon?” Mingyu waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening right now?”

He blinked, brought back from his thoughts. “Sorry, hyung. What?”

Mingyu could only let out a deep sigh, moving to place the bauble where he intended it to be. “You’re like this every Christmas. If you miss her so much, why don’t you just fly back?”

Vernon didn’t really know why he wasn’t flying back. He certainly could be, they were off work for the holidays and a plane ticket back wasn’t hard to find. He would be doing himself a favor, putting himself out of misery and finally seeing his childhood best friend. The thing was, he wasn’t really sure if Y/N wanted to see him. He shrugged. “I don’t miss her.” It was a lie and everyone in the room knew it. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2003: 

Everyone who knew either of them would say they were smart kids for their age. Both only five, they whispered secrets to each other like little middle schoolers would on the playground. 

“My parents say I’m going to Korea.” Vernon whispered to Y/N as they watched a christmas movie. “Forever.” Vernon always had a dramatic, theatrical side to him, even as a child.

Y/N could only frown. “Forever? Why?” She couldn’t imagine her best friend moving anywhere without her. “Am I going too?” 

Vernon mirrored her frown on his own face. “I don’t know.” Sensing her sadness, he reached over and gave her a hug. “I’ll visit every year.” He promised. 

“Every christmas.” Y/N insisted. She had always loved christmas above all else. “So we can watch movies again.”

Vernon agreed. “Okay. Every christmas. It’ll be like-” He paused, his young mind searching for the word. “Tradition.” He smiled at her, proud of the big word. 

“Promise?” Y/N stared at him with wide eyes, reaching out with her pinky, extended. “Pinky promise me.” 

Vernon grasped her pinky with his, shaking it firmly. He felt like a grown up, making one of those important business deals. “I promise.” Turning back to the screen, he let out a whine when he realized they had missed the best part. “We missed the part where the grinch screams down the mountain.” He complained. “I wanted to watch that part.”

Y/N got up, searching for the remote. “I’ll turn it back.” 

Their dynamic never changed, even as they grew older. Vernon walked through life, Y/N following behind him with eyes filled with admiration, gently nudging the boy whenever he got distracted and began walking off-track. It stayed that way even with the distance, until one Christmas, Y/N woke up and Vernon had not returned. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2016:

“Mom?” Y/N called as she walked slowly down the stairs. She had returned home from university for the holidays and was confused when Vernon wasn’t at his usual spot to welcome her home. “Where’s Vernon?” He was usually back from Korea by now.

She didn’t like the look of pity her mother was giving her. “He didn’t tell you, honey? He’s been so busy with work, looks like he can’t fly back to join us for christmas this year.”

She felt her heart sink. She had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was just a couple of days out of the year. “Oh.” Of course, she understood. His work was important and she was sure the kpop industry couldn’t be easy. “That’s okay. I guess he must’ve been too busy to tell me.” 

--

“What are you still doing here?” Joshua frowned at Vernon, who was lying down on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?” He was used to Vernon flying back to New York every christmas since they had met. 

Vernon let out a huff. “Not going back this year, Josh.” 

“Why not?” His friend pressed, confused. Vernon was usually so excited to go back. “Isn’t your friend going to be sad?”

“I can’t miss any more practice before our comeback. One Christmas should be fine.” Vernon explained, although his voice betrayed his disappointment. He had been looking forward to going back home, to be able to see Y/N again. He thought to himself that one christmas couldn’t hurt, right?

One Christmas missed turned into two. Then four. Then the timing felt too long and awkward and Vernon just never got the confidence to ever go back.

10 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024: 

Korea was beautiful underneath a sheet of snow. Y/N had landed last night, having made up her mind to give living in Korea a try. Ever since graduating university and landing a job as a screenwriter, her friends and family had always urged her to try working for the Korean film scene. 

She supposed she had always just avoided the country because of Vernon.

Her new job writing for some K-drama started after New Years. She thought maybe spending Christmas in a new place would bring back the mirth and good cheer the holiday used to give her, but she knew she was here for a different reason. A selfish and pathetic one. It burned her, that a part of her still wished to bump into Vernon after all these years. She knew he was doing well, SEVENTEEN was soaring through new heights and she had kept tabs on his ongoing success. It was the only way she kept going: his large internet presence sometimes made it feel like he never even left at all.

It hurt her the most that he could be doing so well without ever seeing her again.

Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, she rubbed her raw hands to regain heat. Ordering, she was relieved to find out she could still hold a conversation in Korean. It had gone rusty, the only people she ever used Korean with back home was Vernon’s dad and sister. 

“Hello?” Someone from behind her tapped her on the shoulder. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

She was greeted by a slightly taller, blond man, sporting black rimmed glasses and holding a cup of iced coffee. Her mind short circuiting a bit from the sudden Korean, she paused, trying to recollect her thoughts before replying. “I don’t think so?” 

The man’s eyes widened in sudden recognition. “You’re the girl in the Christmas photos!” He exclaimed with wonder, pointing at her as if they were long lost friends.

She squinted, giving him another look over. “Um..” She frowned, quite sure she didn’t know this man. 

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly at her, extending his hand for a handshake. “That probably came out wrong. You’re Vernon’s friend from New York, right? I’ve seen you in the pictures on his wall.” 

She blanched, all of a sudden feeling very light and disoriented. “I’m sorry.” She smiled politely, still racking her brain furiously for the guy’s name. “How do you know Vernon?”

“I’m Seungkwan.” He explained, dropping her hand. “Vernon’s bandmate.”

She let out a sound of realization. “Ah~” She knew who he was. “Seungkwan. Sorry, I didn’t expect you to have blonde hair now.” 

Chuckling at her shy admission, Seungkwan felt strangely sad to see the girl in Korea. “When did you come to Korea?” He asked, knowing Vernon would lose his shit if he found out they had been in the same location for a while. 

“I arrived just last night.” 

He left out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Okay, at least it hadn’t been very long. “You should come to our Christmas party.” He suggested, knowing Vernon would be there. “It’s being hosted at Coups hyung’s house this year, and everyone will be there.”

Y/N shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to make things weird.” She already caught on to the fact that Seungkwan knew all about her and Vernon’s falling out, or lack of one. 

“You wouldn’t.” He insisted. “You must come. I’d hate to see you spend Christmas by yourself.” 

It didn’t take much for Y/N to relent. She supposed a part of her had been looking for a chance to see Vernon again. “Alright. I’ll stop by and say a quick hi to everyone.” 

Seungkwan’s smile was contagious as he beamed, grabbing a napkin to scribble Scoups’ address onto it and handing it to her. “It’s at 7pm on the 24th. Bring a present- something small.” He hurriedly gave her all the details as he left, mumbling about being late for a company meeting and how lovely it was to finally meet Vernon’s mystery girl.

Holding the napkin in her still freezing hand, Y/N felt utterly shipwrecked as she watched Seungkwan leave. Nine days was enough to prepare her heart to see Vernon again, right?

12 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024: 

The frost in the air bit at Y/N’s face and neck as she quickly rang the doorbell to Seungcheol’s home. It was smaller than she had expected it to be, homey and comfortably situated in between two other larger houses. 

“Y/N!” Seungkwan greeted her as he opened the door, tugging her in. “Oh, look at you. You must be freezing. Come in, come in.” Taking her coat from her and hanging it up, he beamed down at her. “I’m so glad you actually came.” 

She bit back a smile, taking off her shoes. “I couldn’t turn down an invitation from Vernon’s friends.” 

“Vernon’s in the living room with the others.” Seungkwan pointed down the hall, directing her over. 

Y/N paused, loitering in the hallway between the door to the living room and the door to the kitchen. She felt strangely pulled towards the kitchen, knowing it’d be safe without the chance of a potential run-in with Vernon. Turning decisively towards the kitchen, she pretended not to hear Seungkwan’s deep sigh as he followed her in, knowing the boy was disappointed she had run away. 

“It’s the girl from Vernon’s photos!” Hoshi sprung off the kitchen island to greet her, handing her  a cup of mystery liquid. 

She sniffed it before cringing away at the strong liquor scent. “That’s me.” She mumbled, shoulders sagging a little. “Does he really still have photos of me up? 

Everyone in the kitchen nodded simultaneously. “It’s been on his wall since we were trainees.” Joshua informed her, his eyes holding a teasing glint. “Every time we move places he just puts it back up.” 

Y/N didn’t really know what to do with that information. “Oh.” She replied, looking down in her cup, thinking. “I didn’t know that.” 

Seungkwan let out a loud sigh once again. “You should go talk to him.” 

She looked up. 

“Please.” He added, his tone bordering on begging. “He’s been so grumpy. Especially during the holiday season. I got a pillow to the face for asking him a simple question yesterday.” He grumbled out, complaining about his moody roommate. 

“What did you ask him?” Joshua asked, mildly curious.

Seungkwan shrugged. “Just if he was going back to New York.”

“Of course he threw a pillow at you.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised he didn’t just deck you, with how you were antagonizing him. You know very well he hasn’t gone back in years.” 

Y/N watched the conversation silently, gagging quietly as she sipped the concoction Hoshi had handed her. She absorbed the information diligently, her eyes widening the more information she got on Vernon. Distance had turned him into a stranger - and now, well, she couldn’t really say she knew him at all. It was strange, having to admit someone she used to read like the back of her own hand was someone she now didn’t know at all. 

“I’m going to the living room.” She decided, having had enough of the topic. If she kept listening to them talk about Vernon’s struggles and heartache about leaving her in New York one more minute she might find herself leaving for the night. Being in the same room with Vernon was just going to be awkward silence anyways. She knew he wasn’t brave enough to approach her. At least not tonight. 

--

“Y/N!” 

It was Mingyu and Wonwoo who greeted her from the couch, the two of them in the middle of an intense round of what looked to be Mariokart. They waved at her from their place, inviting her over to sit next to them. She was painfully aware of Vernon’s eyes staring at her from his place on the rug, fingers busy with a random puzzle that was lying out. 

“Hi guys.” She smiled, sitting down, laughing when Mingyu pushed Wonwoo in an attempt to disrupt his driving. 

“We didn’t know you were in Korea for Christmas!” Mingyu exclaimed. “Good thing Seungkwan bumped into you when he did and invited you over.” 

She glanced at Vernon, who was doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t interested in their conversation. “Yeah. I moved here recently actually. Got a job writing for a TV show.” 

Vernon’s eyes widened as he fixed his stare against the white rug. 

“That’s cool.” Wonwoo smiled at Y/N, happy for her. “It’s good that you’re in Korea now.” He side eyed Vernon, frowning when he realized the boy hadn’t even spoken to Y/N. Nudging him with his foot, he gestured with his gaze. “Did you hear Vernon? Y/N got a job here.”

Vernon nodded stiffly before standing up. “I think Cheol hyung’s calling me, I’ll- I’ll go see what he wants.” And just like that he was gone, rushing out of the living room. 

Wonwoo looked apologetically at Y/N. “I’m sorry about that.”

She shrugged, although her heart had cracked at the movement. “It’s okay.” 

“Maybe now that you’re in Korea you guys can be friends again?” Mingyu suggested quietly, although a part of him wasn’t really certain about it. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” She mumbled, taking another sip of her drink, feeling her face flush with heat. Anger or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but Y/N could feel her lips start to loosen the more she sat with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the party heading later into the night. 

“You know I used to hate you guys.” She admitted all of a sudden, jolting both boys out of whatever conversation they were having. 

“What?” Wonwoo frowned. “Why?”

“I hated Vernon for choosing you guys over me.” She lowered her eyes to the floor, feeling ashamed. “I know it’s childish of me, but hating you guys was how I dealt with it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate Vernon for his own actions.” 

Mingyu looked at her with sad eyes as he patted her on the back gently. “I get that.” He reassured her, and she looked over at Wonwoo who was nodding as well. 

“Do you still hate us?” Wonwoo asked, his voice calm.

She shook her head. “No. So I guess I’m just-” She paused. “Confused now.”

She hated how pitiful their looks made her feel as she sat there, nursing her half finished drink, mind spinning. Perhaps it was time to leave her silly childhood infatuation with Vernon in the past. It seemed like he had done so already anyways. 

10 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024: 

Vernon felt like throwing up the moment he saw Y/N enter the party. It felt like a vision, something he had conjured up within his own mind, until the others had greeted her and shattered his vision into reality. 

“Talk to her, you moron.” Seungkwan nudged him. He had retreated from the living room into the kitchen the moment Y/N had sat down with the others on the couch. It physically stung to be in the same room as her, with all the knowledge that he had failed her and their once cherished friendship. 

He took another gulp of his drink instead of answering Seungkwan. 

“She clearly still loves you, y’know.” The boy continued upon hearing Vernon’s silence. “Or else she wouldn’t be here. And didn’t you always tell us Y/N would follow you around like a puppy whenever you were back home as kids?” 

Screw Seungkwan and his amazing, awfully selective memory.

“So?” Vernon mumbled, rolling his shoulders back and feeling himself tense. “Things change.”

“You’ve changed.” 

Vernon stared at his friend, thrown off by the sudden harsh truths. “What?”

“I don’t think she’s changed at all, Vernon.” Seungkwan observed. “It’s you who’s changed and you who has to fix it.” He paused. “Or at least explain it to her. Why you don’t want to be friends anymore.” 

“I do want to be friends.” He stated plainly.

Seungkwan cut his eyes at him, exasperated. “Then tell her that. Jeez, bro. You suck at this.” 

“We’re swapping presents now!” Seungcheol poked his head out from behind the hallway door. “Everyone in the living room!” 

Vernon grabbed his present from the counter and headed in behind Seungkwan and Joshua, turning the box in his hands as he examined the poor wrapping job he had done last night. He had bought the most generic gift he could find, knowing it was going to be a random swap with the boys. The thing he hadn’t accounted for was Y/N showing up - and now it had thrown both his present and him off the game. 

“Grab a pair.” Seungcheol announced loudly to everyone in the room, as there was a mad scramble for partners. 

Vernon found himself standing alone in the midst of his bandmates all already coupled up, limbs tangled together in an awkward mad dash for a partner. His eyes met the only other person with a partner and he stifled a pained cry. 

“It looks like you and Y/N are exchanging gifts this year, Non.” Seungkwan shot him a large grin from his spot next to Mingyu.

He knew this had to be preplanned - fate couldn’t be this cruel, right?

“Go on.” Seungkwan poked him in the back, urging him to approach Y/N, who suddenly seemed to be very captivated by a nearby portrait of Seungcheol and Kkmua, placed on the shelf next to her. She stared at it intensely, although Vernon knew she was still hyper-aware of the fact that he was slowly walking towards her. She had that funny way of darting her eyes towards the person she was avoiding while not facing in their direction. 

“Y/N.” Her name sounded so foreign yet so familiar across his tongue as he spoke.

“Vernon.” 

Her voice felt like coming home. 

“Here.” He placed his gift in her hands as he took hers, turning it awkwardly in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, shaking it gently. 

The corners of her mouth lifted. “Telling you would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise.” 

“You said that last time too.” 

He watched her stiffen at his words and he immediately regretted bringing up the past. They both knew last time had been years ago. 

“I guess I did.” She replied stiffly, turning his gift in her hands. “What’s yours?”

“Thought you liked your presents to be a surprise?” He recalled, remembering how she used to whine that he must wrap her presents, when the teenage him had insisted that just putting it in a bag would be fine. 

“I do.” Her tone made it sound like she was just remembering that fact herself. She looked up and shot him an awkward smile. “I guess I don’t really know what to say.”

“Me either.” 

He could’ve sworn he saw her face drop at his words. 

They separated soon after, the uncomfortable silence taking over and suffocating them both out of the vicinity of each other. Vernon returned to his spot in the kitchen, picking at the pieces of takeout still leftover on the counter, listening to the others squabble over meaningless things. 

He watched Y/N leave, feet rooted by the hallway door and mouth firmly shut closed - he didn’t trust himself to say goodbye to her - he knew that if he had, a million unsaid words would have spilled out and the night would have ended terribly for the both of them. But it was the fear that kept him still most of all, as he watched her exchange numbers with Seungkwan, hugging the others and promising to keep in touch. He stayed as still as a statue as the door shut behind her. 

“You idiot.” Seungkwan turned to face him as soon as he locked the door. 

“Seungkwan.” Seungcheol’s warning tone made Vernon look at him. He was sending a strong warning glance at the boy. 

“What?” Seungkwan protested. “He is being stupid.” 

“I think I’m going to head back.” Vernon mumbled, grabbing his coat and hurriedly throwing it on, Y/N’s gift clutched tightly under his arm as he headed for the door. “Thanks for the party, Coups hyung.” He called behind him, shutting the door behind him and welcoming in the cool, biting winter air. 

He released the pent up breath that had been choking him all night and furiously wiped away the tears that had begun to form the moment he shut the door behind him. 

“Idiot.” He quietly chided himself. “So stupid.”

CHRISTMAS 2018: 

“Are you really never going back to New York?” Joshua prodded at his arm with an insistent jab of a finger. 

Vernon hummed in response. “There’s no point. My family prefers coming to Korea for the holidays anyways. They get to visit family here and everything.” 

“What about your girlfriend?”

Vernon turned his head to see Joshua sporting a shit eating grin. “You know she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Might as well be.” He shrugged, pointing at the various photos that featured her against his wall. “Look at your pathetic loving gaze at her in all of these photos. You’re not even looking at the camera in any of these.” 

Vernon frowned at his comment, taking a good look at the photos and realizing Joshua was right. “Doesn’t matter what I feel, hyung. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’ll never be if you don’t go back.” Joshua suddenly got serious, as he shifted in his seat to look at Vernon better. “Is there an actual reason why you won’t go back? I know we were too busy the last two years but this year we’re free.” 

Vernon stayed silent even though the answer was clear as day in his mind. He was scared, terrified even. Terrified he had hurt her by neglecting her due to his heavy schedules, that she would slam the door in his face if he tried to visit her. “I don’t want to see her hate me.” He finally spat out, cringing as he said it. 

Joshua let out a tiny noise of understanding. “So you’re avoiding her. Pretending so you don’t have to deal with the consequences.”

“When you put it like that you make me sound like an asshole.” 

Joshua gave him a look that bordered on pitiful. “I don’t know what to tell you, man.” 

“I’d rather remember her like this, y’know?” He said, pointing at the way she smiled at him in the pictures on his wall. “Instead of-”

“She might not hate you.” Joshua reminded him quietly from next to him. 

“I really, really doubt that, hyung.” 

5 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS: 

It wasn’t computing properly into Vernon’s head that you had just gotten him the one thing he’s been wanting all his life. 

He had been ogling the Novation Launchpad Pro that was currently sitting on his work table for the last hour, not really believing what he was seeing with his own two eyes. Unwrapping it had been a heart attack in of itself, as he opened up Y/N’s present to reveal the one thing that had been sitting on the top of his childhood wish list since he could remember. Even now, as a famous artist who could afford the splurge, he had never gotten it for himself, knowing it was a luxury and a purchase he didn’t necessarily need. 

“What the fuck, Y/N.” He muttered in disbelief, sliding his palm down his face as he continued to stare at the gift. It was fucking fantastic and exactly what he wanted, and it made him feel even worse about the whole situation. 

She might not hate you. He recalled the words Joshua had told him one time, Christmases ago. 

“Someone who hated me wouldn’t have gotten me this, right?” He said aloud to himself, reaching a timid hand out to fiddle with the launchpad controls. “How did she even know we’d be exchanging gifts anyways?” And how on earth does she know I never got myself one? In what felt like a split second decision, Vernon felt himself walking towards the door of his apartment, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys - only one destination in mind. He had to fix this, somehow. Because there was no fucking way she still hated him.

4 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:

She would’ve complained that the sudden doorbell at 3am woke her up but she hadn’t really been sleeping. Y/N had been lying in bed with her eyes wide open since the moment she’d gotten home, the bag of chocolates and various snacks from Vernon left on her kitchen counter. She had stifled a laugh when she opened it - even till this day, Vernon’s go to gift was still the same. Chocolate and snacks can never fail, he had told her, defending his choice of gift. Especially when you don’t know the person too well. 

She supposed that line made sense for their situation too. 

“Vernon?” She squinted at the figure standing on her porch in the dark. “What are you doing here?” She rubbed her eyes, mildly wondering if she was dreaming. 

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stared down at her. “You got me the launchpad.” 

She blinked. “Yeah.”

“How’d you know?”

She stared back at him, stunned at his bluntness and the randomness of the current setting. “You never shut up about it.” 

His mouth opened and closed again. She watched as he tried looking for words, his vocabulary ultimately failing him. 

“Come inside.” She said quietly, noticing how the harsh winter wind blew at his thin coat. Dragging him gently inside, she shut the door behind them both, turning around awkwardly to face him. She never thought she’d ever see him in his apartment - yet he looked so perfect.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, eyes darting around her place, taking it all in. “I know it’s late.” Glancing down at her pajamas, his lips quivered in a small smile. “Cute.”

“What?” She stared at him indignantly, completely thrown off by his behaviour. “Are you drunk?” She reached out a hand to touch his face, trying to check his temperature, but he caught her hand in his before she could reach. 

“I’m not drunk, Y/N.” He dropped her hand like it had burned him. 

“Then what are you here for?”

She watched him moisten his lips as he stalled for time. 

“I wanted to say sorry.” He finally said, his words tumbling out as if they had been held back for long enough. “I shouldn’t have cut you off like that.” 

She thought she’d have a more visceral reaction to the apology she had been waiting for all this time, but she didn’t. “Why are you saying this now? It’s been nearly ten years, Vernon.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Her shoulders sagged at his words and the sight of his dejected, ashamed face. “Why didn’t you come back? Or text me?” She asked him, pleading for an answer. 

He finally looked up and met her eyes. “I guess I was scared. I got busy one year and didn’t go back- and I neglected our friendship. And then-” He paused, his voice breaking. “I left, and time passed and staying away felt simpler than going back. No goodbye felt better than a bad one.” 

“It wouldn’t have been a bad goodbye.” 

He shook his head. “You hated me.” 

She looked away, remembering all the times she had cursed him for leaving her behind when she was younger. “Maybe. But never for long.” She mustered all her courage to tell him her next words. “I loved you too much to hate you for very long.” 

Vernon blinked at her. “You loved me?”

She hummed in response, still not quite looking at him. They stood there, by her door, in the dim lights of her apartment. 

“How did you even get my address?” She suddenly asked, forgetting he shouldn’t have known where to find her. 

Vernon stayed silent, his mind still reeling from the sudden love confession. She used to love me? 

“Vernon.” Y/N nudged him. 

“Oh.” He finally responded, although his own voice felt like light years away as his mind continued to reel. “I asked my sister. Didn’t know you guys still talked.” 

“Oh.” 

“You used to love me?” He asked, incredulous, not quite believing her words. “Why?”

She laughed, and the sound wrapped around Vernon like her hugs used to. “What do you mean, why? Of course I loved you. I followed you around like a lost kid our entire childhood.” 

“I loved you too, y’know.” 

Her smile dropped as she paused mid-laugh. “What?” 

He took a step closer to her, unsure where the sudden confidence was coming from. Vernon searched her eyes for some figment of affection, for truth, for the way she used to look at him when they were younger. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” He finally admitted. “I definitely tried to, but your hold on me lasted through distance and time.” 

“Me too.” 

“What?”

“I never stopped loving you too.”

[ichigo2002]

growing up is making all the same mistakes as your mother did and then realizing she was human all along

[bbydoll18xx]

The Road Not Taken (Looks Real Good Now)

You’re home, back in Minnesota for the holidays, and you're really missing Paige's smile.

Paige Bueckers x Reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.7k

Themes: Pining, falling in love with you childhood best friend

A/N: well I was listening to Tis The Damn Season in the shower and daydreaming so that’s how we got here. I really like this, and I hope you do too :)

Please enjoy

~

‘Nostalgia is a mind fuck.’

That was the first thought in your head as you awoke in your childhood bedroom, peeking through the sparkly purple curtains that adorned your window. 

The backyard was blanketed in a soft, thick sheet of snow, illuminated by the golden sun of the late morning. 

You had traded the bustling streets of Los Angeles for the sleepy, quiet suburbs of Minnesota, and for a moment, you almost forget the real reason you decided to come home for Thanksgiving this year. 

It wasn’t for your mom’s famous pumpkin pie. And it certainly wasn’t to explain to your nosy family members why you were in your mid-twenties and still single. 

It was all because of Paige and her ridiculous ability to pull you away from every rational thought in your brain. It was almost laughable. 

Paige Bueckers was your childhood best friend. But there was always an underlying pull that you felt towards her, like your soul physically ached to be close to hers. 

You think back to the moment you knew it was more than just a friendship, the sudden realization slamming into you, knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving your head spinning. 

You never told her. 

Your head was still spinning. 

It spun throughout college, as you followed her to UConn like a pathetic puppy. It spun as you watched the plane leave as it took her to Dallas when she first got drafted. And when you moved away from home to try and forget about the love in your heart, the desire to be close to her grew, rendering you forlorn.

You could feel the ache now, mixing with a drafty air floating in from the window. You shiver, pulling your blankets in closer around you, cocooning yourself in a protective layer.

You glance around your old bedroom. The holidays always bring back the harsher memories of your childhood. But you were a grown woman now, thank you very much, so you’d push down those old feelings of worthlessness and insecurity.

You were going to see Paige today. And maybe, for just this weekend, everything would be okay again. 

~

“Sweetheart, please tell me you’ve finally found a nice, young man to settle down with,” your grandma croons from across the dinner table just as you put another forkful of mashed potatoes into your mouth. 

A strangled sort of groan escapes your full mouth, her words not necessarily shocking you. You get this question every single year. 

You swallow, sipping your wine, desperate for the alcohol to sink in and take the edge off. “No, grandma. Still single,” you reply politely. She tuts and shakes her head with disapproval.

“Well there’s this nice boy I can set you up with. He goes to my church, and he’s just lovely,” she simpers, drawling on about how he was so proper and wears a cross across his chest. 

‘Paige goes to church,’ you think bitterly, trying not to roll your eyes.

You look despairingly around the table, glaring at the smirks that adorned the faces of your cousins who were obviously glad they were not the brunt of the family matriarchs’ matchmaking. 

“Oh that’s okay, but thank you. Hey! Did Aaron tell you about his new girlfriend?” You exclaim, as your grandma’s attention turns toward your older cousin, finally leaving you in the clear. 

You take a deep breath, taking another, longer drink of your wine as your watch buzzes against your wrist. 

Your eyes slyly glance down, not wanting to be accused of being rude at the dinner table, and your heart jumps dangerously in your chest as you see who is messaging you. 

‘I love my family but, god, they’re too much. Pick you up at 8? I’m using my dad’s truck.’ Paige had texted.

‘Amen. If my grandma tries to set me up again, I might just light myself on fire. See you then.’ 

The words were so simple. But there was so much more that was unspoken. And later as you finish your pie, you can’t help but think that maybe those unspoken words would finally be coming to head tonight. 

~

You stare at yourself in the mirror for the third time in five minutes, pushing your bottom lip out in a subtle pout before glancing at your phone again. 

You hadn’t seen Paige since she was in L.A playing against the Sparks this past summer, and the idea of being wrapped in her arms again, listening to the familiar sound of her heartbeat was becoming just a little overwhelming for you. 

You think back to the way you had cried the whole way home from the arena, wanting to beg her to take you with her. You had never felt so alone after that day, the realization settling in your chest with a thick, harsh finality that it was definitely more than just a tiny crush. 

You had spent years pushing your feelings down. You had become accustomed to seeking bittersweet releases in strange beds in last-minute efforts to momentarily forget the image of bright blue eyes that plagued your sleep.  

Your friends thought it was great, encouraging your forced promiscuity because they’d simply never understand. Because they weren’t Paige. 

You look back at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Blinking harshly, you look out your window, headlights illuminate your dark driveway, and your phone buzzes a moment later. 

You take a deep breath, standing up on shaky legs that carry you down and outside to meet Paige. 

The air was freezing, sucking out all of the warmth from your body. You shiver, wrapping your sweatshirt closer to you, watching as your breath escapes into the cold air in small clouds. 

You open the door to the truck, quickly hopping in and rubbing your hands together. “Fuck I forgot how cold it gets here,” you whine, noticing how the heated seat was already flipped on the passenger side for you. 

Paige chuckles, looking you up and down. “I missed you, too,” she teases, pulling you in for a hug. 

It was slightly awkward, the console pressing into your ribcage unpleasantly, but you sink into her arms, her warmth and her familiar scent putting you more at peace than you have felt in months. 

You finally pull away, your gaze locking with hers before letting it momentarily drift down to her lips and back up. She licks them as she notices you staring, forcing your eyes to quickly shift back up to hers.

“I did miss you,” you murmur, your words soft and vulnerable. 

“Course you did,” Paige laughs, throwing the truck into reverse and pulling out of your driveway. You ignore how your stomach flips as she puts her hand on the back of your seat and looks behind her as she reverses. Her hand moves across the spinning wheel with precision. 

“I miss having you drive me everywhere,” you confess wistfully, thinking back to high school and even college. She had gotten her license a month before you, but once you had yours, you rarely drove. You had always preferred her to drive you around. 

“You always were such a passenger princess.” 

The name slips off the edge of her tongue so casually, but behind your cool exterior, you were spiraling. 

She pulls into the parking lot of the high school and parks the truck, unbuckling and turning her body to face yours. 

Her hair is down, flowing over her shoulders like a soft, golden curtain, and the parking lot lights shine across her pale skin, almost making her glow.  

“How’s L.A?”

You shrug. “It's been fine. The weather is nice, and I’ve met some nice people the past few months. But it gets lonely.” 

“That’s how I feel about Dallas. But there’s talk about me getting traded,” she says looking down at her hands. 

“Traded? To where?” 

“The Sparks.” 

Your breath catches, and your eyes widen. Her face has a giant smirk that sends your heart throbbing with a rushing urgency. 

“You’re fucking joking,” you whisper. ‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Nah. I’m trying not to get my hopes up but I won’t know for sure until next month probably.” 

Your mind is flooded with images of the two of you living together in the city, but you blink them away, keeping your hopes small and quiet. 

“That’d be cool.” 

The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before busting out in loud laughter. 

“You and Cameron Brink together would, like, change lives,” you giggle. 

“You’re just sayin’ that because you think she’s hot,” Paige says, rolling her eyes. 

“She is,” you shrug. You weren’t going to admit to Paige that you thought she was in fact hotter than Cam. That was a conversation for another time. 

~

Time flies in the small space in the front seat of the truck, and you’re shocked to look over and see the clock reading 11 pm. You stifle a yawn, despite sleeping in this morning. The warmth from the car mixing with the peace that Paige brought was enough to lull you into a blissful sleepiness. 

“You wanna sleep at mine? For old time sake?” Paige asks, voice husky and raw. 

You look back over to her, trying to memorize the slope of her nose and the curve of her mouth. She was utter perfection, always had been and always would be. And with the distance, you were afraid you were going to forget her features.

The space created between the two of you had stretched to unbearable lengths since you had both graduated college. And now, sitting here, you didn’t think you had it in you to walk away this weekend. 

So as you mumble a quick word of agreement and as Paige pulls out of the familiar parking lot, your stomach ties itself into knots. 

Because the road not taken was starting to look real good now. 

And you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to stop.

~

What did we think? Do we want a second part? Let me know:))

xoxo katy

Taglist:

@oldcrdigan, @paigebuxkets, @the-other-half, @patscorner, @tndaqlifwy , @ch12334 , @double22-k , @inthedeathofherreptuation , @authentic-girl03 , @blueredg52 , @kmoneymartini , @mrsarnold , @ittiwdwysylm @hobbybound @makethemhoesmad @moshuka @madivivic @bridgetloveswomen @melpthatsme @onlyhereforpazzi @cierraonline

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[rvp32]

Plot idea: Mina being a good best friend, comforts you in unconventional ways after a 10-year relationship break-up.

Mina being a good best friend, comforts you in unconventional ways after a 10-year relationship break-up.

“Mina!!” You said as soon as she picked up your call, you were heartbroken that your girlfriend of 10 years broke up with you.

“She broke up with you didn’t she?” Mina asked, realizing why you called her at such an ungodly hour. 

“Yes, she did and she told me that I was literally the worst boyfriend ever and that I should ever because I am too broke and can’t buy her the things she wants,” You complained, tears threatening to spill out. 

“Fine say where you are, I am coming to pick you up,” Mina said. 

Mina is your best friend someone who you have known since your childhood, both of you are close but sadly didn’t get to spend much time with each other because Mina is a busy K-pop idol. 

Soon Mina arrived, with her Aston Martin DB11. It was a car fitting of her status. She lowered the window and said, “Get in.”

Tears escaped your eyes after you got into the car but you tried your best not to cry. 

“Hey, it's okay, let it all out I am right here for you,” Mina said trying to comfort you and it did because you knew that you could always talk to her and get an objective opinion from her.

“Let’s head back to my place and talk,” Mina said before she started driving. 

“Thank you, Mina!” you said as you wiped your tears. 

Soon you both reached Mina’s apartment, which was in the middle of Seongsu. Following her up the elevator, no matter how many times you see her apartment it still surprises you. It was a penthouse apartment, filled with completed and uncompleted legos, and it was very well maintained not a single speck of dust visible. 

“Come, sit down,” Mina said tapping the spot beside her on the couch. After you sit down, Mina pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as a way to console you. 

You tell Mina about all the things she said and how rude she was, denouncing everything that you had ever done for her. Throughout all that, Mina continued to hold your hand and rub it to show that she is there for you and that she is willing to listen. 

After letting it all out, Mina suggested that you guys watch a movie and eat ice cream, which was according to her the best way to get over a breakup.

Weirdly enough, Mina chose a romance movie to play, especially after what you just told her, but you didn’t exactly mind because it was one of your favorite movies. 

There was a romantic kiss scene in the movie, feeling a little awkward to continue watching you turned to look at what Mina was doing only to find her staring at you. 

“You know Y/N, there is another way that you can use to get over a breakup fast,” Mina said before moving closer to you, your bodies now touching each other.

You didn’t move, though you wanted to your body just wouldn’t stop Mina from coming closer to you. Both your faces were so close that you could feel her breath on your lips. Without any warning she kisses you, the kiss is filled with lust, tongues dancing and exploring each other's mouths, lips moving in perfect harmony. 

This kiss wasn’t like any of the other ones, it was electrifying and addicting. You feel Mina push you down onto the couch without breaking apart from the kiss. The room heated up, and you could feel yourself get hard, because of the way Mina was moving.

“Mina, what are you doing?” you question, after barely pulling away from her. 

“Shh, I know you are enjoying this, just forget about everything else and just pay attention to me,” Mina says, and she kisses you again. 

Following what she said you gave into the lust that you were currently feeling. When a pretty girl such as Mina tells you to do something you do it, no questions asked. 

The lust was getting to her head, she pulled away from the kiss took off her shirt, and ripped yours off your body. Mina looked ethereal, her perfectly sculpted abs, and her perky little tits in a black lace bra. 

Not wasting even a second more, you grab onto Mina’s boobs and squeeze them a little before reaching around and unclasping her bra. Mina enjoyed every single touch of yours, she continued to grind on your cock which was now hard and poking through your shorts. 

“Fuck, you have such beautiful breasts, Mina,” you compliment her as you play with and flick her hard nipples. 

“Ngh,” Mina moans. 

“Y/N I need you,” Mina manages to say in between her moans. 

You could no longer wait as well, you wanted to get a taste of her. Mina is just as impatient as you pulling your pants down along with your underwear. Your hard member pops out standing in all its glory. 

“Oh wow,” Mina says before putting your cock in her mouth and sucking it. Her tongue dancing teasing and playing with your cock inside her mouth, it was the best blow job that you had ever received. 

“Ngh fuck Mina that feels so good,” you moan as you push her head down further into your cock. 

Mina continues to suck your cock, fast and deep, playing with the head using her tongue. It was too stimulating. 

“S-shit I’m going to cum!!” You moan, but to your dismay, Mina stops completely, taking her cock out of her mouth. 

“Now now, the night is still young and I need a lot more from you,” Mina says, it was a side of her that you never thought you would see but turned you on like no other. 

She placed herself just above your cock, your tip just about grazing Mina’s drenched pussy. She was teasing you and you could do nothing but take it. 

“M-Mina please, can you put it inside please,” You ask, pleading and hoping that she will do it soon, before you lose control. 

“Aww, someone is a needy boy,” Mina says before slowly impaling herself on your cock. 

Fuck, her pussy was a lot tighter than you had ever imagined. “FUCK! Mina you are so tight,” you groan. 

“I can’t believe that I waited this long, I should have done this sooner fuck. Your cock is stretching me out so fucking good,” Mina moaned as she finally reached the bottom of your cock. 

Mina bounced on your cock like there is no tomorrow, looking at her cute tits bounce made you want to grab them, you pulled Mina into a kiss as she continued to ride you. 

The way that her pussy was gripping onto your cock was like it was made to take your cock it was a perfect fit, and you were hitting spots that Mina didn’t know existed. She moaned into your mouth as you kissed her. 

Pulling away from the kiss, you put Mina’s right breast into your mouth, sucking it and playing with the nipple. She must have sensitive nipples because her pussy pulsed every time you nibbled at her nipple. 

“Fuck, Keep doing that I’m going to cum,” Mina warns and you oblige, nibbling at her nipple and using your other hand to pinch her free nipple. 

“Oh Fuck, I’m cumming, I am cumming on your cock! Ah,” Mina moaned before she lifted herself off your cock and squirted it all over your stomach, some of it even getting in your mouth which you didn’t mind, it just made you wish more had gotten in because of how tasty it was. 

As soon as Mina recovers a little from her orgasm she pushes your dick back into her and rides you again, this time her movements more sloppy, almost like she was chasing another orgasm. 

“Fuck Mina, I’m gonna cum,” you warn, trying to hold on as much as possible. 

“Yes! Just cum inside, I wanna feel your warm cum inside of me,” Mina screams, after getting her permission, you hold Mina’s hips and start moving her to your pace. 

“Holy fuck, Yes! Yes! Yes!” Mina screams. “Just like that fuck, paint my pussy white, cum deep inside by my pussy please I need it! I need it so fucking bad!” 

“Ngh,” you moan and cum inside Mina, feeling your warm cum shoot into her pussy Mina’s 2nd orgasm soon follows yours

Mina gets off you, your cum slowly dripping from her pussy. She’s lying on top of you still recovering from your session. 

After a few minutes, you break the silence to finally address the elephant in the room, “Mina, we should talk about what just happened.”

“Shh, we can talk about it tomorrow. I am too tired now,” Mina says before putting her head on your chest and closing her eyes. 

You soon followed suit and fell asleep with Mina on top of you.  

Still in between sleep and consciousness, you heard Mina talk to herself, “That was money well spent, that bitch never deserved you, after all, she left you for a meer 100k, Nobody can have you, you belong to me, and only me! My precious baby.  

if you guys like this type of stories then keep sending me more asks like this and I can keep writing these kind of short fics

[hotnbloodied]

(I was wondering can you do part two on it, like have yandere childhood friends past girlfriends show up and be ruin to F reader because of how angry they are and basically lie about how physically he got with them to make f reader jealous and angry, but this just makes f reader upset and confront yandere childhood friend, and he gets so made that he wanted revenge, and prove to her how she the only one that can make him feel good.

Yan!Player!Childhood Friend X F!Reader PT2.

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

CW: not proof read, female reader, sloppy writing, yandere tendencies, drama, possessive tendencies, violence (not towards reader), knife mention, slut shaming (not towards reader)

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!

Part 1

You and Luka were now social media official! After the debacle of the double date you and Luka changed your social media statuses last night before bed. When morning came around you stepped out of Luka’s room and into his living room where you were finally able to give Veronica a call back. “Why weren’t you picking up your phone calls? I was so worried! Are you okay now? Do you need me to pick you up? Where are you?” Question after question about your well being flooded out of the speaker of your phone. You weren’t close to your family but if you had a caring older sister you’d imagine this is what she’d be like. With a smile,  you responded to the worried Veronica over the line, “I’m fine, Luka and I made up. And I’m sorry I bailed on your boyfriends’ friend and you guys last night.” “What?!”

You explained to Veronica that you and Luka had talked all night and that all throughout the years it was all a horrible miscommunication on both of your parts and that you and Luka had mutual feelings the entire time. By the end of it Veronica was audibly aghast. “I can’t believe this…” she said. “But, this won’t change how appreciative I am to you Veronica. You have always been there for me.” Veronica’s laugh could be heard over the line, “we’re besties you know? I just hope that you can stay happy from now on.” After a little more conversing, you and Veronica agreed to meet up for lunch with everyone sometime before hanging up. You walked back over to see if Luka was still awake but he was still sleeping. You went over to his kitchen to check what he had in his fridge but all that was in there was a ketchup bottle and a case of beer.

Seeing the lost cause you went to the bathroom to freshen up a bit before heading to the grocery store to get some ingredients for breakfast. Nothing too crazy, probably some eggs, toast and sausage, just a typical breakfast. You noticed the cut up assorted fruits though and thought that might make a great addition as a side dish. As you were eyeing the product you noticed someone also trying to get a look behind you so you turned to look so you could get out of the way but realize it was the same girl that was with Luka last night! You felt awkward so you tried to just leave towards check out but she stopped you by addressing you. “Oh hey, you’re the girl that left with Luka yesterday weren’t you?” You turned awkwardly, “uh yeah.” Looking at her now you realized how pretty she was, her hair looked smooth with no dead ends, her outfit was trendy and it highlighted her bodacious assets and not to mention, she smelled nice.

“If you’re going to see Luka from now on I suggest buying some water,” she giggled, “he’s a bit of a beast when it comes to the bedroom and you need to keep hydrated when  you can. Well, you probably experienced it last night anyway I assume.” You looked at her incredulously, “w-what..?” The girl’s face turned into a surprised look coupled with her mouth forming into a ‘o’. “He didn’t sleep with you last night? Oh my, that’s a shocker, he’s known for that you know? He was the same way with me, but don’t worry! I’m sure you’ll get to experience it tonight.” She walked over to you and placed the mixed fruit container in your hand, “You’re going to need this too,” she giggled.

Checking out and returning to Luka’s place was a blur. You were pulled out when you saw Luka about to leave his house but he stopped when he saw you. “Where have you been?” He asked worriedly, walking over and giving you a hug. You couldn’t help but tear up, “I went grocery shopping and saw the girl you were with at the event yesterday. She told me that you really did play around with other women. You weren't lying to me when you told me everything you told me last night, right?” Luka’s rage bubbled, he saw red but he can’t leave you to deal with that bitch right now. He knew he needed to comfort you. So he brought you back into his apartment, assuring you the whole time that he would never lie to you. He made breakfast with the stuff you bought from the market and took care of you all day and didn’t leave your side. That was until nightfall came and you were already deep in sleep.

The girl from earlier was on her way home from the club, she went out to blow off some steam from being dropped like a sack of potatoes by Luka yesterday. But her mood did lighten after she told you the bold faced lie about Luka, she snickered to herself, remembering how much of a gullible idiot she thought you were and how your face dropped. She finally got to her apartment and made her way inside. Turning on the light she almost couldn’t believe her eyes, the whole place was trashed. “Wha…” She was in disbelief, was she robbed? She had to call the police. “I’d advise against that,” it was Luka, he casually made himself known by walking out from behind a wall. The girl felt her blood drain, “w-what are you doing here? How did you get in?” Slowly walking towards her, he pulls out a knife while whistling. “What are you going to do with that, I’m going to scream for help.” It was almost amusing to Luka that this girl thinks that’s a threat. “You could,” he starts, “if you do that though, I can’t guarantee your DMs won’t be leaked. I find it so interesting with how many men who give money you are involved with. It’s a pretty lucrative gig isn’t it?” The girl bursted out in tears and grabbed onto his pant leg, “n-no! My parents can’t know about that!” Luka laughed and leaned down to violently tug at the girls’ hair, “then fucking fix what you did,” he said while also pointing the knife at her throat. “I-I don’t know what I did! I s-sorry!” She sobbed some more. “I don’t appreciate people who lie about me, especially to my girlfriend.” “I’ll fix it, I swear!” Satisfied with the answer he shoved her away, “we’ll be at the mall tomorrow, fix it then or else mommy and daddy will see how much of a whore their little girl is.”

The next day Luka suggested you two go to the mall, he promised that he would buy you anything you wanted. The both of you had already hit up a couple of stores and you were really enjoying yourself but at some point you needed to use the restroom. As you were finishing up, in came the same girl, your heart dropped as you made eye contact with her. But you also noticed that she looked like she had been crying. “You’re that girl,” she said. “Ah…yes.” “I wanted… to apologize to you about what I said yesterday.” “Huh…?” “I said all those things about Luka because I was bitter about him dumping me, but we really didn’t do anything together. We just went on that one date.” “Oh… thank you for telling me,” you were relieved, in fact, more than relieved, “are you okay by the way? You look like you’ve been crying.” “I-it’s allergies! Don’t worry about me!” The girl quickly said before disappearing into a stall. You shrugged and left the restroom to where Luka was waiting for you. “Luka, I saw the girl again in the restroom.” “Oh no darling, did she do something to you?” He asked while getting up and checking you all over. “Oh no, she just apologized for lying. I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Luka.” He pulled you into a big hug, “of course it’s okay darling, no one will ever get in between us ever again.”

[towriteloveontheirarms]

I guess I wouldn´t believe you (modern!Best friend!Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader)

synopsis: When you moved in with your best friend since childhood for college, you never would have thought the outcome of it.

warnings: kind of angsty, best friends to lovers, kissing, afab reader

word count: 2k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall, @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

For as long as you could think, Jace had been your bestest of friends. You stuck together through every little (and not so little) problem life threw at the two of you. Every fight between him and his uncles, every fight between their families, your parents’ divorce and in the end his family moving away from King´s landing. The two of you never lost contact. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder after all. Though when the two of you finally see each other in person again, after years of strictly conversing over the phone, you get floored by how much fonder your heart could grow. That first hug in such a long time makes your heart swell and your whole body tingle with what you think at first is platonic happiness to see and be close to him again. You should soon be taught better.

It´s the first week of College and, even with only having moved in a week ago, the two of you were already as inseparable as you were in childhood. At first you had thought sharing a cute, little apartment seemed like a good idea. Well, if you knew how much you wanted to bite yourself in the ass at the mere sight of other girls hanging around for “study sessions” throughout the year, you would have moved into the dorms.

As the dumbass that you are when it comes to your own feelings, the realization that it was jealousy and your feelings for your best friend have been more than just platonic, hits you over the head when it is almost too late. Literally, in the form of your friend Baela.

The two of you sit in the campus café on lunch break, talking over coffee as you always do. When she breaks out "So when will you stop being a little bitch and ask my brother out?"

She had always been one to tell hard truths in a rather harsh tone, but that's why you loved her so much.

"Baela!" You whisper at her loudly. Looking at the tables around you to see if any of them have heard you with a scandalized expression.

"What? Just the facts... You've been whining my ear off about Jace fucking around for the past year now, too blind to see that you're so deep in love with him it's grossing everyone out." She sticks out her tongue at you.

"Okay, so maybe I am in love with him... That still doesn't change the fact that he is my best friend. And more importantly he's not interested in me. OUCH!!" One of your hands shoots up to soothe over the spot of your head that just had made painful contact with Baela's hand. “What was that for?”

“That´s because you keep being a little bitch about your feelings.” She just says matter of factly.

“Fuck, Bae. That really hurt.” You whine at her.

“Good. It was supposed to.” Baela claps her hands and then stands up. “I have to run, but I swear I will do it again if you whine about anything regarding Jace again that isn´t him telling you he doesn´t reciprocate your feelings. Which, fyi I can promise you, won´t happen.”

With that little piece of wisdom your friend grabs her bag and the coffee cup and leaves you to ponder her words. And you come to the conclusion that, as much, as you hate it, she is once again right. You had cried to her about her brother for the past year. Drunk, sober, high, with actual tears or like right now. Now you just felt sorry for her. If you were her, you wouldn´t want to hear that much about your siblings being crushed on. Opening the door to your shared apartment with a huff you hear laughter from Jace´s bedroom. Throwing your keys into the bowl near the door you piss off to your room. Thank the seven for noise cancelling headphones, you think and put on some music as loud as you can. Anything to not have to hear what is going on in the room across the hall. Laying down on the bed, you don´t even notice when you fall asleep. Neither do you know how long you have been gone, but it is dark outside when a gentle hand shakes your shoulder.

“Hey.” Jace´s quiet voice rings through to your half asleep mind. “I made dinner, if you want some.”

“Yeah, yeah. I´ll be out in a sec.” You wave your hand in the air and unsuccessfully fight of a big yawn.

“Alright.” Jace goes back to the kitchen to wait for you. “So, how was your day?”

“Good, I guess. Not as good as yours though, I´d bet.” The comment comes of more cutting than you had wanted it too, but luckily your best friend is also a part time golden retriever and so he pushes your tone off to your brain still not having caught up with waking up fully yet.

“Did you do anything fun today?” He asks taking a full spoon of food into his mouth.

“Not really. I met up with Baela at the café earlier. Talked for a while, nothing interesting though. Sorry for not saying hi earlier. I didn´t want to interrupt your… visitor.”

“You wouldn´t have needed to. Sarah is just a good friend.” He looks at you with such a warm, unsuspecting gaze that you feel really bad for how mad you get with jealousy.

“A friend, sure.” You shake your head with a bitter chuckle. Trying to shake Baela´s words and the swirling feelings out of it. To no avail. Pocking the food on your plate some more, the fork in your hand soon meets the plate with a loud clink.

“What do you mean with that?” Jace´s now puzzled brown eyes search for an answer in your ones, but you don´t give him a chance. Turning to leave for your room, before things turned truly ugly or you could admit to something you weren´t ready to admit to.

“Hey, wait! What did you mean just now?” You can hear Jace raise his arms in confusion, but ignore his plea for an answer once more.

Regarding him only with a clipped "Nothing, forget about it."

Slamming the door to your room it gets opened again only moments later. Gods, why couldn't he leave this alone.

"Why are you so angry all of a sudden? Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?" He asks stepping close to you, but still keeps a safe distance as he sees your disgruntled face.

"Can't you just forget it?" You ask exasperatedly.

"No. We used to talk about everything. What happened to that? We barely even talk anymore even though we literally live in the same place." The brunet was getting worked up too now. Slightly raising his voice.

It wasn't something you had never heard before. Naturally in all the years of your friendship you had fights before. They just never felt so stupid and avoidable.

"Of course you would say that... How could we have talked, when the second the school year started, you busied yourself with Cregan Stark and literally seemingly every girl on this campus?” Your tone is sharp and accusing. Your breath fastens in your chest the more you raise your voice. Your heartbeat speeding up at an equal pace.

“Are you jealous of Cregan? You know you will always be my best friend, right? No one could ever replace you. Not even Cregan Stark.” His amused chuckle makes you think you really are going insane.

“How can someone be so smart and so stupid at the same time? I´m not fucking jealous of Cregan!” A hand rubs over your face, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Then what is it?” He questions and the words spill out of you before you can think about them.

“I´m jealous of the girls you are with.” You clasp a hand over your mouth as to not reveal more but the damage is done. Instantly a heavy silence lays itself over you.

"Why would you be jealous of them?" Jace finds his voice again first. Its uncertainty still cuts through the quiet like a knife.

"Because I don't want to be just your best friend anymore. I have for a while, but you were too busy with those girls to notice that the guy I´ve been having a crush on for the past year.” Your voice turns desperate. There had been so many better ways to reveal this, but of course it had to come out in an argument. You are pretty sure you have just the worst possible outcome to this situation possible.

You raise your hands in defeat. "You know what? Forget it. Let's just forget I said anything. It's been a long day and I don't want to argue about this.”

“No. I´m not gonna forget about this. You are my best friend, why didn´t you tell me about your feelings earlier?” Jace takes another step closer to you now. Almost close enough to touch if you were to stretch out your arm a little. But you don´t. If anything you keep as far away as possible from him. Your face burns and your breathing goes into overdrive from everything you are feeling right now.

“Because I know you don´t feel the same and I didn´t want to make it a whole thing like it has become now, that eventually ruins our friendship.” Gods, why couldn´t you just stop talking? Why couldn´t he just stop talking?

“How do you know that?” Another step towards you and Jace´s voice becomes quieter again. Having an almost intimate ring to it now.

“How do I know that? Come on Jacey… I´ve known you forever. I know what it looks like when you have feelings for someone.” You try not to make it sound too obvious, but you can´t help it. It just is.

“Oh yeah? And what does it look like when I have feelings for someone?” His question distracting you from the way he moves ever closer.

“It definitely doesn´t look like you are a second version to your uncle Aegon. That´s for sure…” You murmur lowly.

“And what if I told you that Sarah is actually just a friend and all the other girls were just a distraction because I thought the girl I really liked wasn´t into me?”

“I guess I wouldn´t believe you.”

What happens next is truly incomprehensible to you. Jace leans in to close the gap between your faces. The touch of his lips is feather light as they tenderly brush over yours. They are unexpectedly soft and have your stomach turning as butterflies take flight in your stomach. You had dreamt this moment a hundred times maybe more, but you never could have imagined how good it would truly feel to have Jace´s rough palms wander over your bare arms, up the back of your neck to keep you as close to him as possible. Eager to keep this moment going for as long as he can. After a solid minute or two you lay one of your hands to his chest. Feeling the soft fabric of his shirt as you gently push him away.

“Do you believe me now?” He asks. Equally as breathless as you are.

“I… I don´t- I don´t understand…” Your eyes search the warm, brown pools of his for an answer but you are still too perplexed to find any.

“It´s you. I have feelings for you too. I just never thought you would return them, so I- well, you know.” Jace sheepishly rubs his neck at the admission that leaves his lips. A gesture that you always have thought made him look incredibly cute.

“You do?” You whisper. Feeling stupid that you can´t say something more.

“I do.” Jace responds. He is still so close you can feel his hot breath fan over your face. A sensation that makes a shiver run up your spine.

This time it is you that moves in for a kiss. Grabbing his shirt tightly in your hands as you lock your lips in a frantic manner. When you feel his tongue press against your lower lip, silently asking for entrance, you gladly grant it. Pulling him to your bed with you as your lips enter in a slow and intimate dance.

“I love you so much.” You whisper into the kiss.

“I love you more. Gods, I waited so long for this.”

[matthewkniesys]

i know it won't work - trevor zegras

summary: You let go of Trevor but why can't he let go of you? You know it won't work so why can't he see that? You're only trying to save each other from more heartbreak than necessary. You just want him to be happy.

a/n: this is the second fic in my good riddance by gracie abrams fic series. you don't have to read the first one for this to make sense. so this is my first song fic so please be nice. idk if i did it right. everything in bold is the song lyrics. i recommend listening to the song but you don't have to. i really do love this fic so hopefully yall will too🫶

pairing: trevor zegras x gn!reader

warnings: angsty and some swearing

good riddance fic series

The last year has been hard for you. Nobody ever told you how hard graduating highschool would be. Everyone paints graduating as this big celebration. You're never warned of the hard choices you’ll have to make and the people you’ll lose. The one person you never expected to lose was your childhood best friend and boyfriend of 3 years, Trevor Zegras. And you could never have predicted that you would be the one walking away. Not him.

I left you there 

Heard you keep the extra closet empty

In case this year I come back and stay throughout my 20s

Your body is drained of any energy. Moving into your dorm room has sucked any will to do anything for the rest of the day out of your body. You’re excited for the new chapter that University will bring to your life but you’re also mourning the loss of the life you had before. You feel like a different person since everything in your life did a complete 180 a few months ago. 

Leaving Trevor was probably the hardest thing you’d ever done. You didn’t just lose your boyfriend that day, you also lost your best friend. It was what needed to happen though. It was this one day when he made a comment about how he would follow you anywhere and give up hockey in a heartbeat that made you freak out. You had to cut ties. Trevor loved you in an all consuming way. You loved him in a nostalgic kind of way. In the way that you two had been best friends forever. You loved him but slowly you were realizing it wasn’t in that same romantic way his love for you was. It was not purely but more platonic. You couldn’t ever see yourself marrying him and so even though it hurt both of you, leaving was the right decision. If only Trevor could understand that. 

Picking up your phone to check social media, you see you’ve got a missed call from a friend, well she’s probably your best friend now, since you walked away from Trevor. You choose her number from your recent contacts and let it ring until she picks up.

“Hey, y/n, how are you? Are you all settled in?”

“I’m good. It was a real tight fit, to get everything in the dorm but it worked out. How about you? How’s your dorm? I can’t believe we are literally on the opposite side of the country now.”

Your friend laughs, “ Yeah, it was quite the tight fit here too. The dorms are tiny. But I’m doing good. I’m excited for classes to start.”

You pause for a second, wanting to ask the question that’s been burning in the back of your mind for weeks now. You wanted to know how Trevor was. Trevor and your friend had always been close. When you walked away from Trevor you didn’t want them to have to end their friendship so they still hang out.

Stuttering, you ask,” Hey, um how’s Trev doing?”

“Are you sure you really wanna know?” Yes, you are sure. At this point you feel like you need it as much as you need the air you breathe. You can guess he probably isn’t doing great, you aren’t either but you need to hear it from someone who knows.

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna be honest with you.” She pauses. “He’s fucked up over you. You walking away from him really came out of the blue. He blames himself. He thinks he did something wrong.” Hearing that he thinks it’s his fault breaks your heart. All he did was love you with all of himself and you couldn’t reciprocate that.

“I-fuck. Why couldn’t I just love him back? It’s what he deserved and I couldn’t give it to him.”

“Y/n, it’s okay. In the long run this will be better. At least neither of you will be stuck in a shitty relationship. But if I’m being completely honest I think Trevor still thinks you’re gonna come back. Like you’re gonna realize you made a mistake and change your mind. You probably don’t wanna hear this but he keeps the extra closet empty. You know, just in case you decide to come back and stay for good.”

Hearing that, shatters your heart into a million pieces.

What if I won’t?

How am I supposed to put that gently?

And down the road

You will love me until you resent me

You talk for a few more minutes but then you hang up, your heart wasn’t really in it and you’re emotionally exhausted. You feel as if your body is about to combust. Sighing, you toss your phone on the bed and flop back, shutting your eyes and letting your thoughts consume you. 

You shouldn’t go back to Trevor. It wouldn’t be fair to you or him. It would only cause more pain than it’s worth. But maybe a little part of you still wants to. You miss him. There is history there that can’t just be erased. 

You feel like you need to tell Trevor that you really meant it. He can’t keep holding out for you. He needs to live his life. He’s at BU this year and next year he’ll be in the NHL. All you want is for him to be happy. You want him to go out and kiss other people and to find the person of his dreams but instead he’s hung up on you. 

If he stays hung up on you, if he can’t move on he’ll eventually start to hate you. He’ll love you so much that it’ll turn into resentment if it hasn’t already. And even though you broke his heart you really, really don’t want him to resent you. You couldn’t stand it. He still means the most to you.

I’ve had the thought

Tried to work it out through anxious pacing

What if I’m not

Worth the time and breath I know you’re saving?

Despite being tired down to your bones, you slept horribly that night. Knowing that Trevor might be up at this very moment, not being able to sleep because of what you did is killing you. You aren’t worth this much thought or time. He could have anyone. Any kind, beautiful person that he wants. Someone who can give him everything but instead he’s agonizing over you. For fucks sakes he even has a closet empty just for you. He must really believe you’re coming back.

It’s your first night sleeping in your dorm and that isn’t helping either. You look over at your roommate who is peacefully sleeping, wishing you could be doing the same. You grab a water bottle and chug half of it trying to gain your bearings. Your mind is running wild and you need to do something. 

You start pacing back and forth, in your tiny dorm room. You really hope your roommate doesn’t wake up because you don’t need someone you barely know thinking you’re crazy.

You just want Trevor to just move on. To not let you live rent free in his mind. You aren’t even worth it. You’ve seen how many other girls are after him. He could have any of them. You aren’t worth it.  He’s saving too much for you and he needs to let it go.

But it’s a lot

All the shine of half a decade fading

The whole facade

Seemed to fall apart, it’s complicated

You’ve known Trevor for your whole life and liked him for 5 of those years. Until it just kinda stopped. You stopped wanting him so much romantically and you just wanted to go back to being best friends. Part of you, a big part, wished you had never even dated in the first place. 

A few months before graduating everything started falling apart with Trevor. It stopped feeling right, your relationship. It stopped feeling like where you wanted to be. You hoped it would pass but it didn’t. The feeling kept growing and growing until it felt like there was just a huge hole in your chest where something wasn’t quite right. Where something was wrong.

And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen

I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different

'Cause part of me wants you back, but

I know it won't work like that, huh?

Weeks fly by but it doesn’t really get that much easier. You’re happy and you’re making friends but you still miss Trevor. And you’ve gathered from talking to hometown friends that still talk to him, that Trevor isn’t really doing any better. You can’t get past the fact that you’re the one making him hurt like that.

It’s completely sudden. You aren’t expecting it. There’s no text, no build up. Just one day out of the blue he calls. You don’t want to pick up. It’s only gonna lead to false hope for him that you want to get back together and false hope for you that he wants to simply just be best friends again. But you can’t help it, you pick up the phone and answer.

“Y/n,” Trevor says the moment you pick up, sounding a little breathless.

“Um, hey Trev.” You don’t know what else to say so you leave it at that.

You hear Trevor mumble, “Oh fuck, there’s no way i can do this.” and then he starts talking.

“Y/n, please, please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix this. I miss you. You’re my best friend and the love of my life. I need you.”

Fuck, you won’t get through this. You can’t stand to talk to Trevor, knowing you both feel completely different. And it’s the fact that he thinks it’s his fault. That he did something wrong.

You desperately wanted to tell Trevor that you would come back, that it could be like old times but you can’t. It would be a lie. It could never be the same ever again. 

A part of you wants to go back and just say fuck it. You want your friendship back so badly that you’re willing to fake the romantic part. Maybe you’ll eventually for real fall back in love with him. It’s possible, but you know that’s not right. It won’t work like that.

“Trevor, you didn’t do a single thing wrong. It just wasn’t working. It wasn’t meant to be forever. I have so much love for you still but not in the same way that you do. We can’t keep doing this to each other. We need to get past this. Hanging up the phone was hard. Sitting with your thoughts after was harder, but you’ll get through it. You did the right thing.

Why won't you try moving on for once? That might make it easy

I know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving

And part of me wants you back, but

I know it won't work like that, huh?

In the weeks that follow you don’t hear anything from Trevor. Until mid November and then everything starts seeping back in.

First it’s a text. A simple, hey, how are you? And you know you shouldn’t respond so you don’t. And then it’s pleading. It’s text saying we need to talk or I miss you. And you almost respond to those because you can’t bear to think that you are causing Trevor so much pain. But again you hold out and don’t respond. It’s when he starts picking up the phone and calling that you can’t stop yourself.

He called you once, you didn’t pick up. He called you a second time, and still you restrained yourself, but the third time was when everything went crashing down.

You had been having a really shitty day to start off with and you were already in the worst of your feelings, so when Trevor called it’s like it breaks a dam inside of you. A wall that had been holding strong but was now toppling over.

You pick up the phone and for a minute it’s just dead silence. You hear Trevor’s breathing so you know he’s there but he hasn’t said anything. So you decide to speak first.

“Trev, I thought we agreed to cut ties. We can’t keep doing this. You need to move on. This isn’t healthy for either one of us.”

“ Y/n, you’re the one who said we should cut ties, I never agreed. I need you in my life. I miss you.” The desperation in Trevor’s voice makes you want to cry. It makes you feel as if someone took a jagged piece of glass and cut open the wound that was slowly starting to heal. The wound that you inflicted by walking away. A part of you still wants him. But you can’t. You just can’t. It isn’t possible.

I'll open up

I'm thinking everything you wish I wasn't

The call was tough

But you're better off, I'm being honest

You take a deep breath. You need to give Trevor the closure he needs and then leave for good. You need to explicitly say that this won’t work. You need to tell him without any fancy words that he needs to accept that you're not the one for him.

“Trevor,” you plead, needing him to listen, “You need to walk away. I’ve been trying to for months now but you keep pulling me back in. I’ve already moved on but you’re the one who won’t let me leave. We were what we were but we can’t be that anymore. I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago and you aren’t either. Let me go and in the long run we’ll save each other a ton of hurt. I love you but this won’t work. You have to let go. I’m gonna hang up and you aren’t gonna call me again.” You pause, catching your breath. “I wish you nothing but the best. Goodbye, Trev.

You sit in silence for a moment. It was hard. You have tried telling him goodbye before but this felt much more final. After all the other times you tried saying goodbye to Trevor, you still felt as if there was more to the story before it would be over. You hoped the story was over now. It was the best thing for you and for Trevor.

So won’t you stop

Holding out for me when I don’t want it

Just brush me off

I’m your ghost right now, your house is haunted

It took all of five minutes for Trevor to call you again. 5 fucking minutes. God, all you want at this point is for Trevor to move on. To realize this is the best thing that could’ve happened. You don’t pick up. You need to set some boundaries. You can’t keep picking up the phone when you don’t wanna talk. He needs to just brush you off and move on.

But he calls 4 more times that night. And you’re scared it won’t stop. So you pick up. Of course you do. It’s that little part of you that still wants him back that makes you.

“Trevor, you need to stop. I’m sorry but we can’t. I don’t know how many times you want me to say this. I know this won’t work the way you want it to or at all. So please I’m begging you stop. Put both of us out of our misery. You start moving on so I can finish letting go. Trevor, don’t call me again or I will block your number. I don’t want to because for some reason it just feels wrong. But I will. Goodbye, Trev.”

You hang up and this time you know. It’s final. Trevor won’t call again. You’re sad but more than that you’re relieved. You can finally start living again.

It’s as if for these past months you’ve been this ghost for Trevor. One that would constantly follow him. You were haunting him and know you’re finally being set free.

I know it won't work like that, huh?

It’s been years now. You don’t think about it often but every once in a while Trevor will pop into your mind. You’re happy. You really are. And from what you see on social media, Trevor is too. 

You try not to dwell on it but sometimes you think about what might have been. What might have happened if you had gone back to Trevor. And honestly you aren’t sure. Maybe everything would’ve worked out and the two of you would be happily together right now. Or maybe it would’ve ended up being exactly what you thought would happen if you went back. 

You truly believe you made the right decision in letting Trevor go. You knew it wouldn’t work the way he was envisioning. And hopefully you spared the both of you a lot of heartache.

You’re happy right now. That’s what matters. You and Trevor don’t talk much except for the occasional birthday message but maybe that was how it was supposed to be.  You knew it wouldn’t work like that and you made the right decision, for you and for Trevor. You had and still have so much love for him and that’s all it’ll ever be. And you’re okay with that. You really are.

thanks for reading 🫶

good riddance fic series

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[adalwolfgang]

okay,hear me out. Can you maybe do a request of Onceler Lorax x female reader where the female likes him more than a best friend, and then she goes to his room and sees him just staring at the wall, overthinkinking about something and she tells him her feeling about him

Perturbation

Warnings: Self-doubt, kissing, short-story

This was not supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to catch feelings for you friend. Scratch that. Your best friend.

You and Onceler have been friends ever since childhood, you met through your parents. At first, you both were too shy to really talk to one another except for the occasional "Hello" but later on, you soon both hit it off. As you both grew older, you started to release how much of an entrepreneur he was.

That brings you back to reality when you're standing Infront of his small tent he had set up in a forest surrounded by Truffula trees. You lightly knock on the door, shifting on your feet as you waited a few minutes. The door remains closed as no sound is heard on the other side of the door. You quirk a brow, growing slightly concerned. His wagon was here, but he wasn't home?

You knock again, this time a little firmer. Again, there is no answer, your concern growing. Before long, you open his door, pushing it inward slowly. You peak a glance inside, immediately spotting Onceler sitting as his desk, staring into nothing. As to not scare him, you clear your throat to gain his attention. His head snaps to you quickly as his eyes grow wide in surprise before relaxing again once realizing it was just you.

"Sorry for not answering the door...I thought it was that orange doofus back again to bug me" he explains sheepishly before giving a nervous laugh. He goes silent though when noticing your face doesn't change. he clears his throat before motioning for you take a seat in one of his chairs. "Is everything alright?"

You fiddle with your hands for a moment. Not meeting his gaze. When you finally do, you're met with his soft eyes and reassuring smile. "If somethings bothering you....you can always talk with me about it, okay? Thats what friends do right?"

You nod in acknowledgement to his words before taking a deep breath. You go on to explain why you came over, telling him all that's been on your mind and heart as of late. All the while, he just watches you silently, his gaze never leaving yours to show he is giving you his full attention. Throughout your little confession, his face goes from reserved to...euphoric?

"Kind of coincidental if you ask me.," he says sheepishly. "Because I was actually just thinking about confessing my attractions toward you as well before you came..."

Your pupils dilate as your whole body grows warm from the realization and embarrassment. He notices your change in demeanor, letting out a soft chuckle before standing up from his chair and walking over to you. He softly but firmly pulls you up and into his arms, hugging you tightly. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before placing his hand under your chin to make you look up at him. "Now that we have both did our confessions...would you do the honors of being my girlfriend?.."

You nod quickly, muttering a short "yes". Pleased with your answer, he leans his face down to yours, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. His free hand resting around your waist, pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss. "Good..."

[statticscribbles]

Feed

Summary: Vampire!Wanda Maximoff/Reader, Reader is an Empath and convinces Wanda to feed from her, it has unknown consequences

You’ve been working with Wanda for almost a year, the rest of the team had welcomed her, despite everyone’s powers she still stood out, a vampire, an undead. It wasn’t hard to adjust, it was helpful, having someone who couldn’t die the way the rest of the team could. It also had it’s own set of challenges, like when she got hungry.

“I can’t Y/N.” Wanda hisses her eyes bright red, you know she needs to feed, you know you’re the only one around that knows what she is. None of the team can risk another exposure, not after what happened to Pietro.

“Wanda don’t worry, my powers can tell when you’ve hit a limit, I can get someone over if you refuse to stop feeding from me. Just my arm.” You assure and she snarls a little, her hunger clouding her anger, you can feel it, the prickling up your spine, she’s upset at herself, but too hungry to direct her anger at herself instead distracted by it and pushing the anger at you.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” She growls but you can see her inching towards your arm where you’ve rolled your sleeve up.

“You won’t, I trust you Wanda, you won’t hurt me, not like you think you will.” You know she has nightmares of being consumed by her hunger, of the team losing to her, blood dripping from her hands and mouth.

She nods slowly, even slower at moving towards you before she smiles as she presses her lips to your arm.

“Your heartbeat is faster. Nervous?” It’s teasing, playful and you realize how much you missed this version of Wanda, the one who wasn’t concerned about missions, or her bloodlust or anyone finding out she was more than just a mutant, that she was a vampire.

You know something has happened, something changed the minute her fangs sank into your arm, but  she’s too hungry to have emotions beyond satiation. For now you let her feed, humming a lullaby you can remember from your childhood, she doesn't recognise it, which doesn’t surprise you, the two of you had such different upbringings; hers almost triple yours, with how long she’s lived as the undead.

Wanda steps back, her eyes brimming with tears, you’re choking on sobs as well, feeding off of her emotions just as much as she licks your blood from her lips.

“I knew you.” Cold lead settles in your stomach at the pain on her face.

“I killed you.”

“You killed me.” You hate how relieved you are when she says that. You nod slowly, clearly whatever she’s sensed from feeding from you isn’t normal, if how the undercurrent of anxiety that pulses means anything.

“What happened Wanda?”

“We, I , you…. We’re soulmates… We’ve lived so many lives together, I hadn’t, couldn't, didn’t want to admit it, why I wanted you for so long when I met you, you’ve always been you, throughout the years, decades, centuries, anytime I’ve found someone, it’s been you.” He fingers drum on her arms, she’s curling in on herself trying to crush her emotions down. You finish wrapping the bandage over your arm and sigh a little. Reaching for her hand you pull her fingers away from herself and end up pulling her into a hug. Her eyes are no longer red as she tears up more.

“It’s okay Wanda, how about you tell me about the good times we had together, all the nice memories first.” You offer and she nods into your shoulder and you both tighten your grip, relief flowing through both of you at having found the other again.

You’re not surprised that there are more negative memories, as a vampire it had taken her decades to learn control, and her powers would also interfere with that, which led to her killing you out of hunger more often than not, it must be something subconscious now, her memory influencing her thirst, her terror at feeding from you and concern for you even though she’s just met you so recently compared to her lifespan.

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[sunshinereddie]

more on my headcanon of beverly and maggie tozier because i love them,, imagine beverly on her wedding day. everything’s ready to go, beverly is in her dressing room, practicing her vows one final time before she went out to meet ben. she wasn’t nervous, not really- she loved ben, more than anything, and she couldn’t wait to marry him, it was just that…

beverly had made the decision a while ago to walk down the aisle herself. she didn’t have a parent to walk with her, and while that small detail of her wedding hadn’t bothered her very much before, now as she stood alone in her dressing room, she couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. but even so, the wedding had already started, everyone was already in their places, she could hear the music already starting to play-

when the door opened behind her, beverly forced herself to stop thinking and turn. one of the employees at the venue was supposed to come and get her when it was time… which is why it was such a surprise when beverly saw somebody else peeking through the door.

“maggie?” she said, approaching the door. “what are you doing here?”

maggie tozier was beaming with happiness, with pride at seeing beverly looking so beautiful on this day. “they’re ready for you,” she said. “i know that you had someone else arranged, i ran into him in the hall, but i thought that you’d maybe like to see a familiar face.”

surprisingly, beverly did. walking out of the room and towards the ceremony with maggie- the woman who had practically raised beverly with the amount of time beverly had spent at the tozier’s house throughout her childhood and even adult years- definitely felt better than she assumed it would have walking with some stranger.

but when they reached the large doors, and maggie did a quick check of beverly’s hair and dress and makeup to make sure that everything was perfect, it was that feeling of loneliness that caught beverly’s attention… or, more so, the lack of it. as maggie tozier adjusted the positioning of the flowers in the bouquet beverly was holding, beverly came to the realization. it was the same realization that she had thirty years earlier, during one of the first times beverly had visited the tozier household and maggie had noticed the bruises on beverly’s wrist and the rips on her clothes.

“you don’t have to go through this alone,” maggie had told her. “i will be here for you, if you ever need help.”

at that point, beverly had only met mrs. tozier three times, but upon hearing those words, words of comfort and support and love from an adult for the first time in a long time, beverly had come to the realization that mrs. tozier was more than just her friend’s mom. she was a kind, compassionate, loving woman who had gotten beverly through some of the hardest times of her childhood. she was the woman who always had the bed in their guest room set up and ready for when beverly escaped the apartment and needed to spend the night somewhere safe. she was the woman who helped beverly move out when she finally turned eighteen, and the woman who cooked enough food to fill up an entire refrigerator to make sure that beverly was eating enough when she was living alone. she was the woman who held a twelve-year-old beverly while she cried and promised that things would be okay- and she did the same with a sixteen-year-old beverly, and a twenty-five-year-old beverly, and a thirty-two year old beverly.

she was a mother. and she was, in every way except biologically, beverly’s mother.

“alright, you look absolutely gorgeous,” maggie said, moving a strand of hair out of beverly’s eyes. “you’re up, but give me enough time to get back to my seat, okay? i don’t want to miss a thing-”

“wait,” beverly said, reaching out and taking her by the hand. maggie looked back at her, and beverly was trying extremely hard not to cry. “maggie… will you walk me down the aisle?”

maggie’s bottom lip quivered as her expression softened, and beverly could tell that she wasn’t the only one fighting back tears. maggie straightened her dress, fluffed up her hair, and took a step closer to beverly. she held her arm out, her elbow extended towards the bride. “of course,” she said with a smile. “are you ready?”

beverly placed her hand against maggie’s arm, and it felt like that last missing piece had finally been put into place. everything was perfect. beverly nodded, turning to face the doors in front of them. “ready.”

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

Ok, so (for the WIP game) I know I've asked about this one before, but I still find the whole thing so compelling and I am a greedy greedy fan of all your stuff, so I feel no remorse...

Five Times James Watson Was a Father and One Time he Wasn't!

Yay, thank you! I didn't even need the title so know which one that was. 😂 I love this one too, so I don't mind in the least. I only haven't finished it because I ran off to play with Ranna and Enigmatic Confections.😅 _

Okay, so as you know, the premise is James taking on a fatherly role towards Henry and Ashley throughout their lives. We get six scenes in total, one with each of them during childhood, one each during teenage years, and then Henry and Ashley together as James says goodbye to them before the groups parts ways in Revelations Part 1.

The sixth scene loops it all back to the one time James is most definitely not their father, but he wishes he were. _

Snippet

(This is probably about half of Ashley's childhood scene with James, where he finds her crying because Helen is too busy for her) _

Ashley squirmed for a few moments, like she had when she had been an infant, but she settled as she had back then and James carried her to Helen's bathroom.

He set her on the counter and pulled out the medical kit that he knew Helen kept in here.

"What happened?" he asked Ashley as he snapped it open and pulled out a wipe, which he gently began to scrub her right knee with.

"I fell."

"Mmm."

Ashley was very quiet as James cleaned her knees, smeared ointment on them, and placed bandages on them.

"All done, my dear."

Ashley looked up at him with large, vulnerable eyes, looking so sad that James felt his heart ache.

"I don't like Mummy being so busy, Uncle James."

James let out a breath and picked Ashley off the counter, sitting on the edge of the bathtub to hold her in his lap.

"I know, dearheart. It won't always be like this."

"Why is like this now?"

How was James supposed to explain it to Ashley? Helen had kept her safe for so long and had finally carried her to term, but being faced with the reality of Ashley, of motherhood, of all the emotions that went with it, was sometimes overwhelming to her. That for Helen, sometimes it was easier to bury herself in her work than face the child whom she loved so much it terrified her.

Ashley was too young to understand it, but he didn't want to lie to her, causing James to ponder an acceptable explanation.

"Because....sometimes your mother doesn't realize you need her like everyone else does."

The look that Ashley gave him at this, the pure childhood look of not understanding she was the most important thing in her mother's life but also was not at the same time, broke James's heart.

He pulled Ashley close, rubbing her back as she pressed her cheek against the outline of his chest plate.

"It won't always be like this." he repeated his promised, feeling useless, because his intellect couldn't help him here.

"I don't want it to be like this now!" Ashley wailed.

"I know. I know." He kissed the top of her head. "But I'll be here until it isn't. And afterward as well."

"Really?"

"Always, Ashley. I promise."

[gotta-winwin]

(🎄) ... mirth and good cheer - xmas special teaser

⭐ starring: vernon

🎄preview: vernon used to fly back to new york every christmas for one reason only: his childhood best friend. christmas used to be his and y/n’s thing, until he got seemingly too busy to ever return. now, as y/n departs to korea for the first time, she can’t help but wonder if her and vernon would ever cross paths again. vernon, unbeknownst to her, has been wondering the exact same thing. as the boys set up their christmas tree in their dorm, he does his best to ignore how hints of y/n still seemed to linger throughout the holiday air. 

tw/cw: idol!vernon x nonidol!reader, childhood friends to lovers, estranged friends, slight miscommunication, fluff, slight angst, best christmas romcom vibes, features svt members, stubborn!reader, equallystubborn!vernon, use of y/n, flips between past and present day

🐻‍❄️ release date: christmas day

☁️ masterlist & a/n: dropping a vernon x reader fic for our xmas special! doesn't vernon just scream childhood bestie to lover (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ i just know i'm going to have sm fun writing this cuz the dynamic is so interesting! its already giving christmas romcom vibes and omg you guys are not ready.

11 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Mingyu slapped Vernon’s hand away from the tree they were decorating. “It’s supposed to be symmetrical, not whatever you’re doing.”

Vernon had to admit he wasn’t really paying attention. Their dorm auntie, the one who came around once a week to clean up the place, had baked them gingerbread men as a Christmas gift, and the smell felt like it had seeped into the walls of their dorm. It was a nostalgic smell, one that took him back to his childhood, new york and-

“Vernon?” Mingyu waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening right now?”

He blinked, brought back from his thoughts. “Sorry, hyung. What?”

Mingyu could only let out a deep sigh, moving to place the bauble where he intended it to be. “You’re like this every Christmas. If you miss her so much, why don’t you just fly back?”

Vernon didn’t really know why he wasn’t flying back. He certainly could be, they were off work for the holidays and a plane ticket back wasn’t hard to find. He would be doing himself a favor, putting himself out of misery and finally seeing his childhood best friend. The thing was, he wasn’t really sure if Y/N wanted to see him. He shrugged. “I don’t miss her.” It was a lie and everyone in the room knew it. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2003: 

Everyone who knew either of them would say they were smart kids for their age. Both only five, they whispered secrets to each other like little middle schoolers would on the playground. 

“My parents say I’m going to Korea.” Vernon whispered to Y/N as they watched a christmas movie. “Forever.” Vernon always had a dramatic, theatrical side to him, even as a child.

Y/N could only frown. “Forever? Why?” She couldn’t imagine her best friend moving anywhere without her. “Am I going too?” 

Vernon mirrored her frown on his own face. “I don’t know.” Sensing her sadness, he reached over and gave her a hug. “I’ll visit every year.” He promised. 

“Every christmas.” Y/N insisted. She had always loved christmas above all else. “So we can watch movies again.”

Vernon agreed. “Okay. Every christmas. It’ll be like-” He paused, his young mind searching for the word. “Tradition.” He smiled at her, proud of the big word. 

“Promise?” Y/N stared at him with wide eyes, reaching out with her pinky, extended. “Pinky promise me.” 

Vernon grasped her pinky with his, shaking it firmly. He felt like a grown up, making one of those important business deals. “I promise.” Turning back to the screen, he let out a whine when he realized they had missed the best part. “We missed the part where the grinch screams down the mountain.” He complained. “I wanted to watch that part.”

Y/N got up, searching for the remote. “I’ll turn it back.” 

Their dynamic never changed, even as they grew older. Vernon walked through life, Y/N following behind him with eyes filled with admiration, gently nudging the boy whenever he got distracted and began walking off-track. It stayed that way even with the distance, until one Christmas, Y/N woke up and Vernon had not returned. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2016:

“Mom?” Y/N called as she walked slowly down the stairs. She had returned home from university for the holidays and was confused when Vernon wasn’t at his usual spot to welcome her home. “Where’s Vernon?” He was usually back from Korea by now.

She didn’t like the look of pity her mother was giving her. “He didn’t tell you, honey? He’s been so busy with work, looks like he can’t fly back to join us for christmas this year.”

She felt her heart sink. She had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was just a couple of days out of the year. “Oh.” Of course, she understood. His work was important and she was sure the kpop industry couldn’t be easy. “That’s okay. I guess he must’ve been too busy to tell me.” 

--

“What are you still doing here?” Joshua frowned at Vernon, who was lying down on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?” He was used to Vernon flying back to New York every christmas since they had met. 

Vernon let out a huff. “Not going back this year, Josh.” 

“Why not?” His friend pressed, confused. Vernon was usually so excited to go back. “Isn’t your friend going to be sad?”

“I can’t miss any more practice before our comeback. One Christmas should be fine.” Vernon explained, although his voice betrayed his disappointment. He had been looking forward to going back home, to be able to see Y/N again. He thought to himself that one christmas couldn’t hurt, right?

One christmas missed turned into two. Then four. Then the timing felt too long and awkward and Vernon just never got the confidence to ever go back.

10 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024: 

Korea was beautiful underneath a sheet of snow. Y/N had landed last night, having made up her mind to give living in Korea a try. Ever since graduating university and landing a job as a screenwriter, her friends and family had always urged her to try working for the Korean film scene. 

She supposed she had always just avoided the country because of Vernon.

Her new job writing for some K-drama started after New Years. She thought maybe spending Christmas in a new place would bring back the mirth and good cheer the holiday used to give her, but she knew she was here for a different reason. A selfish and pathetic one. It burned her, that a part of her still wished to bump into Vernon after all these years. She knew he was doing well, SEVENTEEN was soaring through new heights and she had kept tabs on his ongoing success. It was the only way she kept going: his large internet presence sometimes made it feel like he never even left at all.

It hurt her the most that he could be doing so well without ever seeing her again.

Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, she rubbed her raw hands to regain heat. Ordering, she was relieved to find out she could still hold a conversation in Korean. It had gone rusty, the only people she ever used Korean with back home was Vernon’s dad and sister. 

“Hello?” Someone from behind her tapped her on the shoulder. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

[opinated-user]

big rant incoming, but i got pulled into this rabbit hole out of nowhere when youtube suddenly started recommending me videos about all the crap surrounding lily. i haven't followed her for a couple years now, but i did for quite a few at one point, and it's been... definitely a trip to see everything. a lot of processing happening, and i wanted to put my experience somewhere, in case anyone else can relate, and hopefully find comfort in solidarity.

i don't remember exactly when i found lily, but i was in my late teens-early 20s when i did. at the time i found her content, i was very freshly grappling with the realization that i'd been abused numerous times throughout my childhood by various people. and, as a result, i had a lot of anger, resentment, and other super complicated emotions and reactions to deal with.

at first, finding lily's content at that pivotal time, was really comforting and vindicating. because she was affirming all the negative stuff i was feeling was okay to feel... normal even. and feeling that way in response to abuse didn't make me a bad person. it just... made me a person who was reacting to abuse.

there were also a lot of opinions i agreed with her on. one of which being that the normalization of the q word, as a person who grew up in the southern us and has had it violently used against me numerous times, makes me super uncomfortable. so, her video about it was... again, validating. gratifying. vindicating. etc. (though i would like to clarify that i have zero issue with people who use it for themselves. they have every right to. i just can't handle having it used on me, directly or indirectly with group usage)

i commented on the video to express that. i don't even remember what i said exactly. i know i mentioned my identities within the lgbt community, and that her video made me feel valid for being so viscerally uncomfy with people calling me the q word, instead of the words i openly identity with. and she... deleted the comment. twice.

still no idea why to this day. as far as i remember, i completely agreed with her, and validated her points. but, still, twice. my comment got deleted. and i know it was deleted specifically because it was posted when i sent it, and then i went to check if she'd ever replied to it or seen it, and couldn't find it again.

it really fucking hurt, honestly. and, like i said, still to this day i can't think of even a convoluted reason why she'd delete my comment fully supporting her. i thought it was a mistake at first, but the second time it happened, it was clear she was deleting it herself. and, after that, i realized i felt the exact same invalidation and rejection i did from my abusers. i felt that exact same sinking "oh god, what did i do?!" panic i did from my abusers. i felt the exact same spiraling confusion because my logic brain knew i didn't actually do anything wrong at all. all of that shit.

and then, i realized that honestly, her content itself sorta made me feel that way, too. there were numerous times when i was still an avid watcher of her content that i had to stop watching because it started to get triggering. it made me feel like i was being yelled at. and it was especially triggering when that happened during a section i disagreed with. or when i felt like whatever she was talking about wasn't the huge deal she was making it out to be.

it's kinda wild i got put down this rabbit hole now, honestly. i've been dealing with people exactly fucking like her in my personal life all year. nasty, selfish cowards with superiority complexes the size of jupiter, and victim complexes the size of the whole damn universe.

something always felt off to me about somehow SO many people from her past had the same experiences with her that painted her in a negative light. and, her only response to it was twisting the narrative to be like 'no, actually, THEY suck'. and just refusing to ever take accountability for even something as minor as not crediting artists she steals from for images in her videos, up to full on abuse and grooming allegations. when i was too young to understand the red flags those were, i brushed it off. but, now, after dealing with so many people like her... i feel bad i ever believed that crap for a second.

she reminds me of the people i've dealt with recently, too. they all pulled that same shit on me. they beat me to a bloody pulp during the worst, darkest year of my life, and then had the gall to accuse me of being the one with a victim complex, who makes everything about me, and demands everyone grovel at my feet when all i ever expected from them was bare minimum decency and compassion during a very traumatizing, and dark time in my life.

it's truly sickening to see someone like that with such a significant audience. especially when she has done so many horrible, horrible things. and, has the gall to be someone with a victim complex that turns her audience on anyone who dares to call her out. even with evidence. she always has an excuse to dodge blame, but never any reason to take accountability.

i never actively engaged with her directly outside of that comment, so i obviously am not a direct victim of her, but even as a very surface level consumer of her content on youtube and on here, she definitely contributed to completely fucking with my head for a number of years.

i apologize to all of her victims for ever believing her crap at face value. and, i hope you are all doing well. those of you that run these blogs as well, please take good care of yourselves. i know firsthand how exhausting it is to have to be a log keeper for your abuser's misdeeds, but you are truly doing a huge service to people by making who she truly is known. you've helped make all this processing a lot easier for me, and i'm sure have prevented numerous others from becoming her victims, or being further victimized by her. thank you for that.

i wish i could say i hope she learns from her mistakes and gets a grip, but if my run-ins with people like her are any indication... even if she had the rudest awakening with every single ounce of karma she's stacked up for herself, if she hasn't learned by now... it's cause she's aware and doesn't care, or straight up is so far up her own ass she'll never see it.

i at least hope the rise of people critical of her on here and youtube helps the narrative shift. especially with the addition of courtney's testimonies against her. y'all deserve that narrative shifted peace of mind.

.

[indiehorrorgamemovie]

isthefnafmovieout reviews the fnaf movie (SPOILERS)

Pre-movie thoughts (written 10/25):

I get to see it a day early! YAY!

I might have hyped this movie up in my brain a little too much, because I'm SUPER anxious.

The polarizing reviews i was seeing throughout the day were definitely a little nerve wracking! Lots of good and bad reviews, lots of weird contridicting statements. I saw lots of people complaining about the lore being "wrong" or whatever but... Eh. It has already been established that this movie won't have the same lore as the games, so I won't mind any lore changes. They're like the Silver Eyes books, in their own seperate canon but with similarities to the games.

Overall Im keeping my hopes reasonably high. Horror films and video game adaptations tend to get a bad wrap from even the fairest critics. I'm a die-heard fnaf fan, have been for all 9 years of its existence. If Dawko loves it then I will love it I think 🫡

Okay, now with that out of the way...

Spoiler free review, posted on my letterboxd:

Post-movie thoughts (written 10/26):

The way they incorporated Mike's dream sequences into the narrative was really interesting, how he tries to use his dreams to find out who took his brother. He and Abby were really sweet :) I like how their relationship drives the plot along, with how they befriend Abby but only as a front because they want her to "be like them," and how Mike is caught up in the past and realizes that he needs to focus on protecting Abby, not bringing his brother back. Its surprisingly emotional, i really resonated with their story. Josh Hutcherson and Piper Rubio both did well!

It's basically everything I expected, and I liked it! I think it's story was good, with its focus on childhood innocence.

Vanessa is great too! Different from her game counterpart, but thats okay! And the twist that she's actually William aftons daughter? Holy shit I gasped like I was watching a soap. Thats so interesting!! I loved how she just FELT suspicious. I know it's very different from the game lore, but I expected the movie to be, and I liked what they did! I got chills when Vanessa showed the picture of her and William to Mike and you could see her holding the plane that Mike's brother used to have.... my dad thought that was the creepiest part. Speaking of william btw...

Matthew Lillard, man. wow. What a great William Afton. They do some subtle implications that hes William in the beginning and if i didnt know it was him already i would've been surprised. He hams it up like he did with Stu Macher and it's great! I wish he was in it a little more, and they expanded a little more on Williams character through Vanessa, but yeah, he was good! I hope to see more of him in any sequels!

I wish the animatronics showed up a little more, thats probably my biggest critique or whatever. But they are so well made and cute. I liked how they befriended Abby, and that they rlly honed in on the animatronics being possessed by kids and that their violence is from William Aftons influence. I wish they went more into depth about how William influenced them though, and why it's all the pictures drawn of what happened that control their vision of what happened. What we did get from them though was so cool! Jim Henson did so well with these guys, they're so cute yet can be so scary.

The kills were pretty tame on the surface, as I expected, but some of the implications were quite disturbing to a point where it didn't rlly take away from it for me. Especially Max's, it gave me a "Ada in the laser room in the re4 seperate ways remake" vibes. Same with the security guards death to the faz-trap in the beginning.

There were some pacing issues, theyve definitely cut some things i wouldve liked to see, there was some goofiness (that fort making scene made me laugh so hard im sorry, it was cute though), and some story elements that needed a touch more expanding upon, but this movie was still really fun! For non-fans, honestly i dont know how they'reresponding as a whole besides those really weird reviews im seeing on rotten tomatoes and such, but I saw it with my dad, who knew very little going into it, and he liked it, especially the story with the missing kids! For fans... well, If you like fnaf, are are willing to forgive some lore changes for the sake of telling a coherent story, then you'll love it!

Also why was Matpat there lol. isthefnafmovieout, out. See you on the flipside.

[lovinggreeniehours]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers! (@comfortingstars)

this isn't really a gush but i wanted an excuse to ramble without getting embarrassed hfshjhddj i might not be very coherent, and all of this is just me talking to myself (about arifive) so i can organize my thoughts

okay firstly, i am rewatching season 3. it is such a giant shitshow. honestly. hfshjfdhhdh now the thing is, the plot threads are so tightly knit together (same can be said for the whole show, really) that ive always found it difficult to self insert into it. which is why ari doesn't play too much of a role besides being five's self-appointed meatshield lol

i am rolling with it and making it related to his character arc throughout the story, but i also thought, what if i scrap him altogether? 🤔 what if he was still in the first apocalypse? we do see in the s4 trailer that we might get to see it again through the time-traveling subway(?) so the idea of arifive reunion there sounds. hmmmmmm. but then again that would present a lot of issues like awkward age gap that just. doesn't feel like their style i guess

that idea, i realize, is also just going to be scrapped right away though. five would never leave him there to begin with. that's the entire basis of their relationship 😭

however that does leave ari as a hanging thread with nowhere to go again. ive tried my best not to speculate too hard so i can roll with the flow as s4 comes out (in less than a week :DD) but i really do wonder. in any case ari's presence there, i feel like, would already create colossal differences to the canon events simply because he's there? 😭 five might not behave the same way because of that and now i have to rewrite the entire series. which is such a pain. honestly

like a lot of problems would be solved so fast if ari was there 😒 not to toot my own horn or anything hfshjfsfhj but i do mean it. like the many times five gets hurt and shot at would be solved very quickly, since ari would be affected by neither of that. that is a major problem on this show in general i think. it relies too much on the inconvenience of it all. they keep all their main characters busy and distracted so they're never on the same page, and therfore they all deal with shit by themselves for 10 episodes when they could've solved the problem in 1 by just talking to each other for more than 3 minutes,,,

this show is so so annoying actually how am i supposed to walk around saying "i like this show" when that is sooo not true i am the umbrella academy's number 1 hater at this point 💀 but also i have extensive knowledge of the characters, lore, and plot that is basically burned into my skull. yes i hate this show i swear

one way i had wanted to give ari his own plot (his main theme is of him growing into his own person after his childhood was cut short, after all) was his doppelganger, morgan, in the sparrow academy but im so lost on whether or not she's dead at the end of the season,,,💀 like sure TWO sparrows survived to the finale. out of SEVEN. and then one of them lived until the end (but he's ben so we're unsure about why he's here), but the other one????? no one knows where the hell she went???????? and the season 4 promo doesn't mention her at all 😭 😭 😭 😭 im so confused okay

one thing i definitely had wanted to touch on when i flesh out ari's arc is his powers. they are so complex and personally one of my favorite concepts ever. the power itself is actually rather simple in concept, just hard to explain

but assuming that there are multiple timelines and dimensions in the universe, ari's powers make it so that he is spiritually connected to all his other selves. at least, more so than the average person would be. this is why he doesn't die! if everyone else's souls are split into all their different variants', ari's variants have one soul connected together like a giant web. even if you cut one string, you still have the web, and it can still be rebuilt. therefore, he can never really be processed as dead (unless he cuts the string himself, but he doesn't know that)

that has always been so interesting to think about for me, and how that impacts his character, because then even his power is a direct parallel to five's. five is the traveler of time and space, meaning he can go anywhere he wishes. ari, meanwhile, is already there. always has been, always is, always will be

i was going to build up on that in season 3 and 4, since morgan is one of his variants but. 💀 um. she might have been wiped from existence altogether so i don't really know if that counts as killing her

tldr this show is stupid. it's so stupid it makes its characters stupid by proxy. if i put myself, a non-stupid person, there, there would be no more plot :( i am sad. but i will carry on with my watching because i need to see my husband very badly

[uroboros-if]

Hi, I'm the anon who asked this and I'm here to scream about my MC I am so sorry for how long this is gonna be

Okay, so I call my MC Pandora, I have a reason for it Now, the reason why I named my little MC Pandora was because of this line in the synopsis:

"Your investigations into a strange occurrence will lead you to know far more than you ever intended to, unravelling what may be the precursor to the collapse of the reign of gods…"

Which, to me, sounded a lot like the MC is opening Pandora’s box. Then I was like, “Wow, it would be silly If I named my MC Pandora, and throughout the story and her investigations, it’s like she’s slowly unlocking the box… wait-” 

Ok characterization, in the myth “Pandora’s Box,” Pandora has various characterizations, sometimes being seen as clueless and letting her curiosity get the better of her and opening the box. Other times being seen as cunning, knowing exactly what is in the box yet opening it anyways. I wanted both of these for my baby, a happy middle with a leaning towards innocent curiosity, knowing what's in the box and the consequences of looking into it but letting the curiosity win and then realizing just how grave the consequences actually are partway through, yet instead of giving up and closing the “box” she keeps going because of all that pent up and hidden feelings she’s had about the way she’s been treated her whole life. Because oftentimes, when we do something that has consequences that we know of, we aren’t exactly aware of how bad those consequences are for us and others around us due to our innocence and lack of experience along with the feelings he had at the moment, especially if they are negative ones. In the case of the game, the “Box” would be the investigation and the downfall of the deities; this is what I strive for in how I play as her in later chapters btw.

In chapter one though she’s still in that innocence, she has negative feelings about the other gods, but it’s not to the point where if she was given the option to bring down the gods or leave things the way they were, she would pick bring down the gods, no she would turn her head and choose to keep the things the way they were. Most of her negative feelings are directed towards Salvatore, she really doesn't want to dislike them, but they are everything she isn't, and that pisses her off in a way she can't describe, and it pisses her off when other older gods call them "childhood friends" when in reality they know nothing of each other and in childhood she was just tolerating their presence because their mom is quite literally the Queen of the gods and she'd rather not get whatever punishment is given when you upset her child or whatever. With Luciel, on the other hand, it seems to be a completely different story. She is extremely fond of them, being the god of the only thing that ever be considered something that can last for eternity, death. (unless I missed something and there is a reincarnation system that you plan to add later or something) And also the fact that they gave her a purpose and their generally calming presence (and ofc they're pretty, which helps a great deal with likability) She was always a little curious about Ciocana, always feeling a little... drawn to them in a weird way, maybe it's the similarity of them being outcasts, but she wants to get closer to them, especially after that dance they had. Oh yes, that dance. She had always been fond of dancing; however, she'd never had that much fun doing it before, and the timing was even greater when she remembers bumping into that other god and that nasty numbness she felt afterward. She wouldn't mind dancing with them again. She has always adored humans in a weird way; they basically stood against her whole being, with how short their lifespans were, yet... they made her feel needed in their afterlife, and she has always been happy to help with whatever issue they ask of and the fact that they went to her about it too (even though she's the only option) it makes her feel all warm inside, and I imagine they're the ones who introduced her to dancing in the first place. I don't really want to write much about her opinions on Alessi because they haven't met yet💀

Pandora typically dresses in a mix of all the human-era fashion because her job is so tightly associated with humans it's impossible for them to not influence her in some way. She usually wears Greek and regency-era-inspired clothing, light and airy yet beautiful.

Thank you for reading about my silly I love them, and they can and probably will change quite a bit throughout the chapters, and I genuinely cannot wait to see where the story goes, but yeah, all of this is just based off of the first chapter 💀

My reply in the read more 💕💕

Pandora is such an amazing name and works so well symbolically/narrative-wise!! 😭 Especially in a setting that starts out once peaceful and then thrown into disarray when the "Box" is then opened, unleashing unto the world everything bad... but also Hope! You don't know much about Alessi yet, but I feel this also defines their character arc as well! Perhaps you'll see 💕

Oh, and I love how thoughtful you are with how you feel about the ROs! I was definitely trying to emphasize how completely different people view Salvatore versus the MC, which makes for super interesting character foils to one another! Salvatore, the golden child, and MC, "everything they are not." Even with that description, they are defined in relation to Salvatore, rather than evaluated independently. To add salt to wound, people assume you are friends...

Haha, I don't think reincarnation is part of the plan--resurrection or rebirth is against the order of the world! I am glad Pandora has someone she likes, in spite of her negative feelings towards other deities. Luciel is just as fond of her. (... And thinks Pandora is quite lovely, too!)

But 👀 they're also a little curious about Ciocana? Maybe loners just drift to each other!

So interesting to have an MC who is inclined towards mortals and a little against deities, although she would still choose to keep things as they are! I imagined that's actually how I'd feel in MC's situation 😭 begrudging against anyone who mistreats, happy to be of service, and yet not so extreme as to want to participate in overthrowing the gods... for now! 👀

Ahh, and I love the bit about the fashion! 🫶 Those two styles are so lovely, you should send some images of what you think she'd wear!!

But thank you so much for going into such detail and being so so thoughtful about your MC! I am astounded by the level of thought you put into Pandora, and in just one chapter!! I am starting to think I have the most amazing readers 😭😭 everyone has such deep thoughts about the story and I want to meet all those expectations!!

You inspired me so much with your ask to give more depth to the choices in the future! So again, thank you so so much for telling me about Pandora, I adore her!!!! 🥺🥺✨✨ Please let me know more of your thoughts if you ever come up with more, or if things change, or... anything!! 💕 I would be so so excited to know!